Sailor Beware Page #2

Fellas, in the 11 times

that I've tried to enlist,

I've never met a nicer bunch of men.

That goes for me, too.

Thanks to you, Al. Best of luck to youse.

I'm really sorry to have to leave,

except for you.

And I can say in all my Navy experience,

I've never met a bigger fathead.

Why you, I...

Lardoski, recruiting officer wants

to see you.

Right, Chief.

- Crowthers?

- Well, this is it, fellas.

Yeah?

Congratulations.

I've got good news for you.

They lowered the physical requirements

in the past two weeks. You're in now.

In fact, you all made it.

They can't do this to me.

Why don't you write a letter

to your congressman?

What good will that do?

No good, but you'll have a pen pal.

Lardoski, when we find someone

in a group of recruits

who has the qualities of leadership,

we put him in charge.

As a veteran

who has decided to re-enlist,

you'll get your old rating back.

- Thank you, sir.

- Oh, yes. Here are the records.

It's guys like that fathead Lardoski

that must've caused the physical

requirements to be lowered.

Yeah, and I bet the Navy will get

those brainy guys

to boss around the fatheads.

Boy, I'm gonna work real hard, too,

and I'm gonna try

and get a commission.

And if I ever become a private,

will I boss that Lardoski around.

Oh, no, I will.

I'll walk right up to him,

I'll say, "You're a fathead."

And I'd say,

"You're a stupid ox and you're..."

You're here!

Petty Officer Lardoski will take charge

of this group.

You will take your orders from him.

Remember, men,

you're in the Navy now.

Okay, men, two ranks through this door,

and I don't want no goldbricking.

Excuse me, handsome.

Where do you get

that "handsome" stuff?

Didn't I hear the man call you

a pretty officer?

He said, "Petty officer."

Okay, look alive, now.

Get going. Keep moving.

What's the matter?

I'm seasick already.

Oh, come here.

Oh, boys.

Boys!

Come on. Come on.

Pardon me, gentlemen,

but you are keeping the Navy waiting.

If you will kindly pass through the gates,

we'll try to make your life

comfortable and cozy.

Come up and see us sometime.

Get going, you dumb clucks!

On the double. You're in the Navy now!

Step up. Right up here.

You're done.

- Hey, give me that.

- Don't yell. I'm nervous.

- What do they want me here for?

- They want a sample of your blood.

Who's giving samples?

Blood isn't dress goods.

You say, "Snip off a swatch."

You wanna see if it matches

the living room drapes.

Don't get excited.

Well, blood isn't orange juice.

What do they wanna do, sample it?

And if they like it,

come back tomorrow for two quarts?

They want a sample so they can type it.

They're not gonna type with my blood.

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