Postal Page #2

Trust me...

you are safely hidden here

for as long as you want.

Well, that may not

be for much longer.

Oh?

We have news

from Afghanistan.

News? Oh.

It is all coming together.

The shipment

left three days ago.

Oh.

Praise Allah.

When, uh, will be it here?

Tomorrow!

The time has come for us

to place our swords

to the genitals

of the infidels.

[ exhales deeply ]

Whoo-hoo!

[ chuckles nervously ]

[ groans lightly ]

[ keys clacking ]

Gah.

I see

you noticed the heads --

motivational.

Those are

every f***ing bastard

that I had to climb over

to get this job.

Jesus.

[ laughs ]

Foul.

They're paper-mache.

They're --

he thought they were real.

[ chuckles ]

Sit down.

Let's get started.

So, I hope you don't mi--

I hope you don't mind

the recording.

Uh, we're gonna use it

as training later.

Ready?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

It's good.

What the f*** is wrong

with you?

It's, uh --

the chair is actually --

All right,

we're on a time clock,

So let's get started,

shall we?

Yes, sir.

Good.

Well...

Um, so, I'm here

for the job, sir.

Right.

You're a factory worker.

I was.

I was a factory worker, but

the factory got closed down,

so I got laid off, and --

I've interviewed 15 other people

for this job.

What makes you think

you're better than them?

Well, I don't know

if I am better than them.

Well, god damn it, pal.

If you want this job, you better

reach out and grab it.

You better put

those f***ing heads on the wall.

You know what? F*** it.

Let's go to the questions.

What is

your greatest strength?

Um...

I'm a really good team player.

Wrong.

[ keys clacking ]

What is

your biggest weakness?

Um, I'd say I work too hard.

Wrong.

How would you move a

mountain using only a spoon?

A spoon?

If you were in a box,

how would you think outside it?

Uh, it's --

well, if you're in a --

Wrong.

Last question --

What is

the difference between a duck?

And?

What the hell

is wrong with you people?!

A d-- a wh-- duck?

I don't --

I came here for a job, a job!

As far as I know, that job

has nothing to do with a

cocksucking, motherfucking duck!

[ keys clacking ]

Congratulations, pal.

You're

our leading candidate.

How does it feel?

[ keys clacking ]

It feels good.

No, no, no, no, no.

How's it feel?

How does it feel?

I mean, how does it feel

to put f***ing 15 heads

on that wall?

I'll tell you how it feels.

It feels f***ing great,

doesn't it?

F***ing great, like, unh,

unh, unh, unh, unh, unh...

So, I got it?

I got the job?

Oh, hell, no.

No, no, no.

This was just a like

a getting-to-know-you interview.

Oh, yeah, no, no, we have --

we have a couple of more -- 120.

Yeah, we have some, uh, more --

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