Paperback Page #2

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- 10 minutes, which

is way too long

to be a stranger

in someone's house.

- Where's Mrs. Charming?

- I think she's hiding

in the bathroom.

That's smart.

- Yeah, she's crashing up there.

- Oh my God.

That girl I met? She's here?

- Oh, where?

- Be cool.

- What? What does that mean?

- I don't know.

- 'sup.

- Hey, hi.

- What's this? What's going on?

- This is my wife, Emily.

- Hi, I'm Emily. So nice

to finally meet you.

I've heard so much about you.

- Yeah, so have I.

- You two are off

to a terrible start.

- So where's this girl?

- What?

- Rob saw this girl he just

met who he's obsessed with.

- I wouldn't say obsessed.

- Sorry, completely

in love with.

So, where is she?

- Uh...

That's her over there,

eating a ton of food.

- Oh yeah, she's cute.

Was she wearing pigtails

when you met her?

Rob has like a fetish for

pigtails. It's super creepy.

- It's not a fetish, I

just think they're cool.

- Yeah, pigtails are really

cool. Everyone knows that.

So you gonna go

talk to her or what?

- Yeah, I'll go do that.

- If you're just as weird

as you are right now,

it will go great.

- Okay...

- Jason Mcallister.

- Oh yeah, hi. You're...

- Rob Semeder, we teach

in the same building.

Loved your book.

- Oh, thank you.

- Holy sh*t. Have you

tried this mac and cheese?

- What's wrong with you?

- Something just happened.

- What? Did you sh*t your pants?

- What? No, god.

- You look like you

sh*t your pants.

- I didn't.

The girl who gave

me her number...

- Is she here? Where is she?

- Be cool.

- What does that mean?

- She's here, and she's married.

- I knew it! Oh

my god, I knew it.

I knew there was

something wrong with her.

- Yes, you were right.

Congratulations.

Stop celebrating.

- I knew it!

- Okay, they're

watching right now

so we have to pretend

that we're flirting.

- Flirting? You want

me to flirt with you?

- Uh yeah. Yeah, please.

- Wait, what? Why?

- Because before she came

up I was talking about her

and he thinks that

she is you, so...

- Oh, great.

- So light and flirty.

Pretend I just said

something funny.

(laughs awkwardly)

Are you serious? What

the hell was that?

- That was laughter.

- Whose laughter?

- I was doing what you told

me to do, I was laughing.

- Did you hear a joke

while getting a pap smear?

Because that's what

that laugh sounded like.

- Do you want me to

fake like you or not?

- Okay, interesting.

So true, I'll have to

check out that article.

- You don't read

articles, come on.

Just, okay...

Is this what serial

killers look like

when they flirt with each other?

- No, this is great.

You're doing great.

This is very convincing.

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