Pants on Fire Page #2

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COME ON!

-GIVE THEM BACK!

-NO! [LAUGHS]

[BULLY STOPS LAUGHING]

[EXHALES NERVOUSLY]

OH, HEY, LANCE.

ACTS OF INJUSTICE

LIKE THA REALLY MAKE

THE OLD ARM ACHE.

YOU KNOW...

WHEN I BROKE IT?

SINGLE-HANDEDLY TAKING DOWN

THOSE LUMBERJACKS?

YOU'VE HEARD THE STORY.

YOU SNAPPED THEM LIKE TWIGS.

TWIGS.

OH! OH... UH--

[HUFFS]

THERE...

THERE YOU GO.

NICE AND CLEAN, HUH?

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

THANKS, JACK.

YOU'RE ALWAYS STANDING UP

FOR THE LITTLE GUYS.

SPEAKING OF WHICH,

GIVE MY BEST TO MIKEY.

I SURE WILL.

WHAT CAN I SAY?

I'M LIKE A...

SUPERHERO OR SOMETHING.

[P.A. SYSTEM CRACKLES]:

JACK PARKER.

THIS IS PRINCIPAL KAR.

REPORT TO MY OFFICE

IMMEDIATELY.

MR. PARKER...

I THINK WE NEED TO DISCUSS

THIS "MIKEY."

UH... HEH.

UM... WHAT ABOUT MIKEY?

THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE

HAS BEEN BUZZING

WITH TALES ABOUT YOU TUTORING

A MYSTERIOUS BOY

FROM ANOTHER SCHOOL.

AND I HAVE TO SAY...

I AM:

VERY, VERY IMPRESSED.

TAKING TIME:

OUT OF YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE

TO HELP OTHERS, IT'S...

[SIGHS]

OH, IT'S MADE US ALL VERY PROUD.

YOU MAY BE WONDERING

WHERE THIS IS GOING.

I KNOW EXACTLY:

WHERE THIS IS GOING.

HE'S GONNA NOMINATE ME

FOR "STUDENT OF THE YEAR."

I AM GOING TO NOMINATE YOU--

[GIGGLING GIDDILY]

YOU!

...FOR "STUDENT OF THE YEAR."

WHAT?

"STUDENT OF THE YEAR!"

I-I-I WAS REALLY

NOT EXPECTING THIS.

I MEAN, HELPING MIKEY

IS ITS OWN REWARD.

THE WINNER GETS:

HIS OR HER CHOICE

OF ANY SUMMER INTERNSHIP.

YOU MEAN LIKE THE BAT BOY

FOR THE BOSTON RED SOX?

THAT KIND OF INTERNSHIP?

YOU DA MAN!

[GAME ANNOUNCER]:

AND NOW...

FULFILLING HIS LIFE-LONG DREAM,

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER

FOR YOUR HOMETOWN HERO

AND FUTURE ALL-STAR

RED SOX BAT BOY...

JACK PARKER-R-R-R!

[CROWD ROARING,

FIREWORKS POPPING]

UH, JACK?

OH! UH...

I MEAN, IF I WERE TO WIN,

THEN THAT'S WHAT I WOULD CHOOSE,

YOU KNOW.

BUT-- [SIGHS]

IT'S JUST AN HONOR

TO BE NOMINATED.

OH, JACK!

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

OH...

MOM, I LIVE

TO MAKE YOU PROUD.

[JACK CHUCKLES]

SO, UH, WHY

ARE YOU PROUD OF ME?

YOUR PRINCIPAL CALLED.

YOU'RE ONE OF THE FIVE FINALISTS

FOR "STUDENT OF THE YEAR"!

OH... THAT.

NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED. NEVER.

LIKE, EVER.

NEVER EVER. EVER.

NEVER?

EVER.

YOU HAVE GIVEN:

SO MUCH TO THAT MIKEY.

YOU DESERVE THIS AWARD.

AND I KNOW:

WHERE WE'RE GONNA PUT IT!

RIGHT HERE,

SO EVERYONE CAN SEE IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

MAYBE I DO DESERVE IT.

SPEAKING OF DOING

SOMETHING GOOD--

I NEED ONE OF YOU

TO HELP ME CLEAN OU THE GARAGE TODAY.

I THINK A POSSUM

DIED IN THERE.

PLACE IS GETTING

PRETTY RIPE.

WELL, I CAN'T DO IT.

NICK'S TAKING ME TO DINNER

AT THE WIENER PALACE

FOR OUR THREE-WEEK ANNIVERSARY.

HOW 'BOUT IT, SPORT?

OH, DAD, YOU KNOW

THAT I WOULD LOVE

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