No Way Jose Page #2

You're a very, very,

very handsome, ugly...

I heard this study on NPR

that if you don't have kids you're

gonna effectively suspend your age.

Beautiful and lonely,

sounds great.

Where are my Breathe Right?

They didn't seem

stir-crazy to you?

How can you seem

stir-crazy in a park?

Exactly.

That's right, how can you

seem stir-crazy at a park?

And yet somehow they've

managed to achieve this.

I think it's sweet.

Their little life with

park parties

and nesting at home.

I don't know if that's nesting so

much as it is Stockholm Syndrome.

You know they wanted

to move to Tokyo, right?

What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They were gonna do

that house swap thing.

Before the kids were born.

But then they ended up

with a dud UvaDisc.

We use UvaDisc.

What?

Japan?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Japan, Japan.

Kate is an obsessive

Japanophile.

She never talks about it

'cause it's too depressing.

I don't know,

maybe we should use

a cervical cap or something.

Yeah, if you want

to use it as a butt plug.

Wow.

It's depressing.

I mean, you know,

Kate used to be an attorney

for homeless veterans.

Now she's got to represent little

miniature white vegetarian rappers.

Just so they, you know,

they can maintain their overhead

and remodel that Gray

Gardens backyard of theirs.

So doing well is a curse

and being broke is a curse.

Yeah, that's right.

Okay.

Sh*t.

You know,

I still think it would be really nice

to go away for your birthday.

Just, you know, maybe we go to

Santa Barbara on the actual day.

Santa Barbara on the actual day?

Yeah.

Well, let me think about it,

in song.

You know you're supposed to

wind down before bed, not up.

Honey, I took like 11 Ambien.

I'll be dead in two minutes.

Santa Barbara.

Right, Santa Barbara.

Um...

Okay, Santa Barbara. Focus.

Honey, I...

I just don't want to be

anywhere when I turn

four... You know...

The thing.

Look, we're going to Mexico, right?

That's good. We're gonna go to

Mexico right after the arraignment.

And then...

Wedding.

Well, I know. It's in a court so it's

really more like an arraignment.

You didn't want a big wedding.

I'm gonna kill you!

I wanted a huge wedding.

I wanted a massive wedding.

Great, let's do it.

I want a gigantic wedding.

With thousands of...

With just thousands

of family members.

Okay.

I want a huge wedding.

What is that?

What, what, what?

That burning?

Honey, it's my sports rub.

Got to warn me.

Assume it's always on.

Jesus Christ.

Pillows everywhere.

Cute.

E-mail from the PTA.

PTA?

You're not...

No, God forbid.

Okay, okay, I was just...

You're safe.

Because that'd be a funny way to find out,

you know?

No, I signed up

for the Friends of Balboa

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