Napoleon Dynamite Page #5

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your transportation situation.

I mean, do you-- you got a car

you can borrow from someone?

Well, that's the problem

right now.

At the moment,

nothing comes to mind.

You can borrow my van for the time being.

I-- I do better on foot anyway.

We also need some way to make us

look official, like we got all the answers.

How about some gold bracelets?

We need, like,

some name tags...

with our picture on it,

all laminated and whatnot.

I mean, we gotta

look legit, man.

That's true. That's true.

Say, you know of a-- a place

we can get our picture taken...

like a-- a photo store?

Okay.

Turn your head

on more of a slant.

Now, make a fist...

and slowly ease it up

underneath your chin.

- This is looking really good.

- You can say that again.

[Deb]

Okay, hold still right there.

Now, just imagine

you're weightless.

You're in the middle

of the ocean...

surrounded by

tiny little sea horses.

[Shutter Clicks]

That was the one. I think

that's gonna come out really nice.

[Chuckles]

Uh, you did it?

Wow. Wow, that felt

really relaxed.

Thanks, Deb.

- [Buzzing]

- [Chuckles] You're up, Kip.

Is there some kind of vest

that I can wear?

- Where have you been?

- I got sick.

Has Summer said

anything to you yet?

No, not yet.

Well, she said no.

She did?

- Well, what about that other girl?

- What other girl?

- The one that left all that crap on your porch.

- You mean Deb?

- Yes, her.

- What about her?

- Well, I asked her out too.

- What?

Well, nobody's gonna

go out with me.

- Have you asked anybody yet?

- No, but who would?

- I don't even have any good skills.

- What do you mean?

You know, like...

nunchaku skills,

bow hunting skills...

computer hacking skills.

Girls only want boyfriends

who have great skills.

Aren't you pretty good

at drawing, like...

animals and warriors and stuff?

Yes.

Probably the best

that I know of.

Just draw a picture of the girl

you want to take out...

and give it to her

for, like, a gift or something.

That's a pretty good idea.

Now, if you invest

in the 24-piece set...

I'm gonna throw in

a little gift.

So, what's the gift?

I bet you folks

don't have one of these.

I want that.

You see, this ain't

your run-of-the-mill "crapper-ware."

These are some serious

"NuPont" fiber-woven bowls.

So, if we purchase

the 24-piece set...

the mini sailboat

is included?

That's correct, sir.

Lance, you look like

a strong young pup.

Why don't you see if you can

give that a nice tear.

Don't hurt yourself now.

I can't do it.

Can't.

So, uh...

how does the "dealio"

sound to you?

- [Door Closes]

- [Engine Starts]

Dang it.

- Is Trisha here?

- Oh, I'm sorry, she's not.

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