Myra Breckinridge Page #2

What kind of a contribution?

All this talk about lawyers

and settlements...

and wills and testaments

goes clean over my head...

our bein' kissin' kin and all.

Well, I'd be overjoyed

if you'd share my vittles...

and break bread with my wife,

Bobby Dean, and me.

Only thing, she, uh, poisoned herself

on some homemade guacamole...

and she's laid up, like,

fora month or two.

I can tell there's Breckinridge

blood flowin' in them veins.

Do you think I'd throw the widow

of Gertrude's boy out in the clog patch?

I am prepared to accept

a position here on the faculty.

I took the liberty of picking up

a brochure on the way in.

Posture and empathy should do nicely.

I'm eminently qualified to teach both.

- Say a thousand a month.

- Uh, posture and empathy...

is a subject the students

badly need at 800 a month.

A thousand...

only on condition you don't tell the

other teachers how much you're gettin'.

- You have my word, Uncle.

- "Uncle"?

Uh, we're busy, Irving.

Is this your new masseuse?

My niece, Miss Myra Breckinridge,

who'll be teaching empathy and posture.

Delicious!

How much you getting?

- A thousand a month.

- I know. It's shocking, isn't it?

Still, we all love it here. Nobody ever

leaves. I've been here for 14 years.

- What do you teach?

- I don't teach. I'm a student.

Teachers last as long as Brillo pads,

and students stay on forever and ever.

We try to build up the confidence of

the students so they don't wanna leave.

That right?

That don't sound right.

Of course. Who'd wanna

leave where he's happy?

Yeah, that's right. [Chuckling]

Yeah, that's right.

- That's terrible!

- Hold your horses, Myra.

I'm taking into account her

recent and most tragic loss.

- What did you lose, dear?

- Her husband.

Careless.

Irving, I 'm sure Miss Myra would

appreciate a tour around the old corral.

- Who dat?

- I'd ride with you, partner...

except my chiropractor's clue in

to fix my back.

Oh, what's wrong with

your back? ls it fatal?

You sure got a sense of humor, Myra.

You ought to take it up professionally.

I bet around the country there's lots

of openings for your style of humor.

[ Myra on TV]

...homometic pantomime...

in which he saw straight through the

strenuous clowning to the hard fact...

that American women are eager for men

to rape them and vice versa...

and that in every American, there is a strangler

longing to break a neck during orgasm.

What in hell

is that woman talkin' about?

During the decade between

1935 and 1945...

no unimportant film

was made in the United States.

During those years,

the entire range of human...

which is to say American,

legend was put on film.

Remind me to have my masseuse

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