MacGruber Page #2

But four is the perfect

number for sure

If it's two kids and me

and you

I love you.

That was beautiful, Vicki.

MacGruber. I thought

you were dead.

So did I.

But I'm not.

I'm alive and I'm

putting together a team.

Good for you.

No, good for us.

And good for America.

And good for fans

of justice and truth.

Because you're

on that team.

I can't.

Just give me one

good reason, Vick.

I do.

And do you, MacGruber, take

Casey Janine Fitzpatrick

to be your lawfully

wedded wife?

No!

I lost my best

friend that day.

I did, too.

And now we have

a chance to get revenge.

Revenge?

It's Cunth.

I'm sorry, I've started over.

My life is my music now.

If you change

your mind.

It was good

to see you, Vicki.

Is everything

on schedule?

Yes, sir. We should have

the passcodes by Tuesday.

Wonderful.

Beautiful.

Have you ever

been to D.C.?

No, sir, I haven't.

I was talking

to the missile.

All right, you guys strapped in?

Yes! Tag 'em and bag 'em, MacGruber!

Yeah!

Just like old times!

Sh*t. I gotta go

deal with the brass.

F*** the brass!

Let's go, man.

Hang tight.

F*** the brass!

F*** the brass!

F*** the brass!

One second, Grubes.

Yes, Mr. President.

Yes, sir. Well, we got MacGruber

on this team right in front of us.

No, we're certain

it's Cunth.

How's your nose,

rookie?

It's fine. I just banged

it into a giant vagina.

So, my face

is a vagina, huh?

Well, I bet you wish

your nose was a dick,

so you could use it

to f*** butts.

I forget. The last time I saw you,

did I remember to tell you

how ugly I think you are?

No, you didn't. Well, I

think you're really ugly.

I think you're looking in

the mirror. You want to go?

Any time,

any place.

I'm starting

to like this guy.

Just kidding.

I still hate you.

Well, I hate you.

You want to go?

Hey, guys, guys. Guys, guys,

guys, guys, guys. Cool it.

So, MacGruber, we understand

you've recruited quite a team.

Quite a team? Yeah,

you could say that.

Frank Korver, Tanker Lutz, Tut Beemer,

Tug Phelps, Vernon Freedom, moi.

Yeah, I'd say

it's a pretty good team.

Look, Mac, are you sure

you won't change your mind

about letting Piper

here join you?

He'd make

a hell of an asset.

Oh, I would love to,

but the van's pretty full.

You see, it's filled

with American heroes

with over a hundred years

of combined combat experience

and a whole lot

of brotherhood.

And no, you can't

ride in the trunk, bud!

'Cause the trunk is filled with over

75 pounds of homemade C-4 explosive

that I personally packed

in there with my own two...

Oh, f***!

No, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no!

Tut, Tug!

You guys okay?

Oh, somebody's

gotta be in there!

Oh! Oh!

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