Lies And Illusions Page #2

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Uh, yeah. You--

you didn't know about that?

Until you called,

I didn't know she had a lawyer.

I guess we all have

little secrets, right?

D-d-do you have

any other questions?

How long have you been married?

I don't know, 11 years, I guess.

Do you love your wife?

Yeah, very much.

Well, cherish every moment.

Um, okay. Well, listen,

thanks so much for coming in

and please just feel free

to contact me.

- Thank you very much.

- Sure.

Here you go.

- I'm going on lunch, okay?

- Yeah.

I'll tell you anything

that you want.

Um, look, he-- he--

he gets the house,

he gets some cash

and a-- and a--

and a box.

- A safety deposit box.

- When does he get access?

Um, in a-- in a year,

when the court gives

its full authorization to the bank.

It's all-- it's all right here

and it's all legal.

Sir, listen to me,

I swear to God...

I won't say a word to anybody.

I promise.

I really don't give a sh*t.

Every person you tell,

I'm gonna send a piece of your wife,

a piece of your kids--

a ear, finger, an eye.

- It doesn't matter to me.

- Okay, you know what?

They-they don't--

I'm telling you right now.

I-I-- listen to me.

Listen to me, okay?

Look, I-I already told you I'm not

gonna say anything to anybody.

No, no.

Attention, shoppers.

Today at the mezzanine level,

we have a book-signing

with self-help author Wes Wilson.

His best-selling book,

"Finding Love in the 21st Century,"

is on sale today only

at 40% off

suggested retail price.

- Hey, there's my guy.

- Hey.

How is the sequel coming?

- Great. Just great.

- That good?

I'm just having

a hard time getting motivated.

That would get me motivated

right there.

Nah. She doesn't really look

like the relationship type.

Who said anything

about a relationship?

All you need is to go...

in and out.

It's actually a good possible title.

Remind me to write that down.

Look, it's time for you to start

thinking about casual dating again.

- Yeah, I'll start thinking about it.

- You'd better start thinking about it!

Because I literally live vicariously

through you. If you're not having sex,

I'm not having sex. I'm getting

pretty f***ing horny over here.

I can tell.

A couple of nights out

with some chicks like this

will straighten you right out.

You can maybe have that one

or that one.

Hi.

Hi.

As a motivational speaker, you really

leave something to be desired.

You just gotta give me some time.

I know it's been a year,

but I was really madly in love

with Sam. It's how it is.

I'm not asking you to stop

thinking about her.

I'm just saying

every guy needs a little...

I'm taking care of myself.

Sure you do. All right,

I'm gonna go have a smoke

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