Lesbian Vampire Killers


- Do I get this week's money?

- Goodbye, Fletch.

- [ VV Brown:
Crying Blood]

- I'm cryin' blood

I'm cryin blood

I'm cryin' tears from my eyes

that I can't deny

And I'm fallin' like a comet

from the sky

I'm cryin blood

I'm cryin blood

I'm cryin' tears from my eyes

that I can't deny

And I'm fallin like a comet

from the broken sky

Oh, how you

Oh, how you need me


Desperately need me

Wish you could...

I've come up with a plan

for getting her back.

What, like revenge?

No, getting her back, not

"getting her back" getting her back.

Getting her back.

Number one:
Take her on holiday.

Stop there.

That's just fucking stupid.

- The two of us, on our own...

- On your own?

Like when you went to Falaraki

and she dumped you and banged that

water ski instructor

with highlights and necklace?

She didn't dump me.

She told me she was just... confused.

Not that confused she couldn't

figure out where to put his cock.

- That's my bird you're talking about.

- No. No, it isn't. Not anymore.

Look, you need to get away

from all this shit.

Let us have a wacky adventure,

you and me.

I'm not gonna bum you, but I think

you could use a distraction.

Say what you like, but you cannot

deny I am incredibly distracting.

- Some might say annoying.

- And that... [sniffs]

I don't know.

Where do you suggest we go?

[Whispers] lbiza. [blows]

The sun, the sea, the sand,

clubs and fanny.

Lots and lots of fanny.

Loads and loads of fanny.

A gargantuan amount of "vajay".

All wanting to shag you, Jimmy McLaren,

and if there's a few stragglers

who fancy a go on me, then so be it.

I can't. I'm skint.

What? I thought

you had loads saved up.

Yeah... I lent it to Judy to buy a car.

Oh, my God! Why don't you just get

"total twat" tattooed on your forehead?

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    "Lesbian Vampire Killers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 12 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/lesbian_vampire_killers_12470>.

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