Labor Pains Page #3

Hey, why didn't you tell

me earlier? Oh, I know.

Probably because there's so

much that can go horribly wrong.

I mean, I'm out of the woods.

But I do everything right.

Anyway, so I'm having my baby

first, not that it's a competition.

But I win!

Anyway, no, really,

congratulations.

Oh, Thea! Oh, I'm so excited for you.

No wonder you've

been spacey lately.

What's going on?

Everybody, Thea's pregnant!

Don't look at me.

I never touched her.

Never would have guessed.

You still look sexy.

I had to tell everyone.

Couldn't keep it a secret.

Of course. How can you

hide that kind of thing?

I should've known. My left knee's

been hurting. When my knee hurts,

it usually means

someone's pregnant.

Yeah, or they're stuck underwater

in a car. Anyway, I'm glad it's this.

So who's

the very lucky fella?

You didn't tell 'em

the rest of the news?

Thea and Miles

are engaged!

Oh!

That's so great!

I mean, I got married before I got

pregnant, but better late than never.

Whoo-hoo!

Yay for you!

Yeah, I'm, I'm really

excited, everyone.

Yeah, thrilled. Over

the moon. Way over it!

Psst.

Pregnant? It's brilliant.

Where did you

come up with that?

I saw it on an episode

of Law and Order.

Yeah. You can't fire

a pregnant woman.

Discrimination, lawsuits,

bad mojo, whatever.

Smart.

By the way,

thanks for your help.

Pregnant wasn't bad enough.

I had to get engaged.

Well, I didn't want people to think

you were some kind of wayward skank.

Is that what you

think of single mothers?

No, of course not. I just happen to

know that a lot of people in the office

think you're a wayward skank and I

thought this could turn it around.

Thanks. Crap, Lisa. What am I gonna

do? How will I get out of this?

Can't we just say that you

know, something happened to,

I don't know, one

of your tubes. Sprung a leak.

Do you know what

you're talking about?

Let's just go along with

it for a little while

and then we'll say

it was a false alarm.

You thought you were pregnant, but

it turns out you just had crabs.

Ew.

I'm so sorry, Em. I had

a crazy day at work

and I lost track of time.

Am I too late?

The meeting was at four and it's

five o'clock now. You do the math.

I'm really sorry.

Have you been drinking?

I had a cocktail.

Come on. You're 17. You should

be out drinking and smoking

I'll reschedule with your

guidance counselor next week.

Don't bother. I already met with Miss

Talbot and we discussed my options

What options?

She suggested I start taking

some cooking classes after school.

You have

tennis after school.

Yeah, but I'm

sick of tennis.

I was thinking maybe I could go to the

Culinary Institute in San Francisco.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes