John Tucker Must Die

I love that you love

that I love you doing that,

And... no need to rush

between courses,

That top...

looks so hot on you,

I bet it's even hotter

off of you,

JOHN:

Never been here before, babe...

so I hope they have

good vegetarian,

Okay, stop it already,

Three girlfriends?

JOHN:
Oh, no! Veal?

I'm sorry,

Let's just go,

You know, if I wanted

to torture animals...

I'd go to a medical lab,

Hey,

Which...

I would never do, 'cause

they... torture animals,

Okay, I'm not passing judgment...

but, for whatever reason...

being a vegan teen activist

is usually code for ''easy, ''

You know, for you, I don't have

to give up all meat,

See? I'm not making

this stuff up,

I don't get it,

I mean, these girls all

seem so confident and cool,

How do they not know...

thatJohn's cheating

on all of them?

He's a total operator,

He goes out with girls

from different cliques...

so that they never

actually talk to each other,

And then he

tells them that his father...

won't let him date

during basketball season...

so they'll have

to keep it a secret,

How'd you learn all this stuff?

I don't know,Just a guess,

- Hey, there he is,

- Yo, bro,

- He did?

- Yeah, totally,

Hold on, one second,

Hey, Yeah, actually...

What's up, fellas?

What's up, man?

Yo, Tuck!

Agua, please?

And some popcorn,

What's up, girl?

Hey,

Lookin' good,

Hey,Johnny,

Hey,

Hey,

You got something sweet for me?

Of course,

I don't know,

John was confident...

in his system forjuggling girls...

but even he couldn't anticipate

the events of Black Tuesday,

Oh, my gosh!

Coach Claypoole!

Are you all right?

How was he to know...

Coach Claypoole had acute angina?

It wasn'tJohn's fault,

It was a pre-existing condition,

and she stabilized...

and took early retirement

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