Joe Rogan: Triggered Page #2

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What if everyone is exactly the same?

We're just living life

through different bodies.

What if that's the secret of happiness?

Treat everyone

as if it's you living another life."

I mean...

And then I thought, "God damn, how good

is this weed I'm getting in California?

Whoo!

I'm on a f***ing floating craft out

in the middle of the ocean,

talking to water people."

The problem with treating everybody

as if it's you living another life

is you wanna f***ing smack yourself.

Half the people you meet,

you just wanna f***ing smack 'em.

We live in the weirdest time ever.

I mean, it's the most awesome time ever.

But it's the weirdest time ever, too.

We're, like,

that close to President Trump.

- No. Boo!

- "No. Boo!"

You boo, but you won't vote, you fucks!

All those Bernie Sanders people,

"Yo, Bernie's the sh*t."

"Did you vote for him?"

"Voting ain't real, bro.

It doesn't even work, dude."

We are that close to President Trump.

Bill Cosby's a rapist,

and Bruce Jenner's a chick.

We're in an episode of Lost.

Down is up and up is down!

This is the type of world you get

when you give kids participation trophies

for getting their ass kicked

in soccer games.

This is the world we get!

We get a goddamn Nerfed-up world

filled with nonsense.

Nobody wants to be president. Nobody.

I hope Hillary wins.

That way we can realize

chicks can't do that f***ing job either.

It's a stupid job.

It's a stupid job invented back

when people used to write with feathers.

It's dumb!

It's just some old-school sh*t

that we need to get rid of.

It doesn't make any sense.

Being president is great

if there's like 50 people.

If there's 50 people,

you can figure out which one's the best.

Three hundred million people?

I have three kids. I don't know

where the f*** they are right now.

How is this one dude

in charge of 300 million people?

It's nonsense.

It's so old and stupid.

They make this guy sleep

in this f***ing White House.

If Trump wins, you know his house

is cooler than the White House.

He's like, "I'm not sleeping

in that shitty-ass, stupid house."

Trump's probably got, like,

a tube at home that he opens up,

and a Chinese girl just pops out of it,

and sucks his dick and goes right back in.

That's what I would do

if I had that kind of money.

We're down to a**holes!

Where's Elon Musk when you need him?

Where's the f***ing geniuses?

Where's Mark Cuban?

No. We got an old lady trying

to get back at her husband

for a blowj*b he got in the '90s.

We got an old man who hates money.

And we got a reality TV star

with a plastic set of hair.

You can't have a president

with environmental concerns,

when every time

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