I'm not a cynic. I'm a realist.
who is secretly an optimist.
What are you doing here?
What is she doing here?
She works here, remember?
No, she doesn't. Not for another four days.
- This couldn't wait.
- It could.
What are you doing? Go back to the beach.
- I don't want you here.
- No, really, you do.
You are becoming
a sick, workaholic lunatic...
and this is exactly...
the kind of nervous, overwrought behavior
that leads to...
A very big raise.
Jesus. You could find dirt in a snowstorm.
Comes with the job.
You know, kiddo, there is more to life
Can I help he was cheating on my beach?
I think it's great
that you're so good at your job.
Okay. I want that column on my desk
So you'll pay for my hotel?
For you to sip mai tais?
I don't think so. Get out.
- Come on.
- That's good, right?
No, it was in and it freaked out.
You know what your problem is, Hitch?
You pick your shots
based on what you see first...
not what's necessarily best for you...
in the long run.
All of us are not married to the woman
You know, I'm very happy for you.
Just not meant for everybody.
totally varied, wildly experimental
- Yeah, okay.
Honestly, I just hope one day
you're able to experience...
the unconditional love, trust,
Synopsis: While helping his latest client woo the fine lady of his dreams, a professional "date doctor" finds that his game doesn't quite work on the gossip columnist with whom he's smitten.