George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing Page #4

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I'll just kill them, too!

Make it one of them family

package deals!

Ah, here's a pen! I oughta jam it

in my f***ing neck and get it over with!

Let's see now...!

Where do you put the date, upper left...?

I can never remember that...!

"To whom it may concern..."

Huh... sounds kinda impersonal...

"Dear Marcelle..."

Huh, leaves out the kids...

I know!

"Hey, guys! Guess what?"

"Keep on reading! How are you?

I hope you are fine!"

"I am not fine!"

"As you can no doubt tell from me

hanging here from the ceiling fixture!"

"You were the ones who

drove me to this!"

"I was doing just fine until

you f***ers came along!"

"I hope you're happy now

that I'm goddam dead!"

"Signed:
The corpse in this room!"

"P.S. F*** you, people!"

That would be a good note!

I don't think a writer could

ever commit suicide, do you?

A writer would be too busy working

on the note all goddam year!

Trying to get it just right!

First draft, second draft, third

revision, whole new ending...!

And finally turning it into a book proposal

and have a reason to live!

It won't work! I think

about stuff like that!

It's interesting to

me, like I said!

Certain things are interesting!

Suicide is interesting!

Life is filled with interesting things!

That's why I could never commit suicide!

I'm having too much fun!

Keeping an eye on you, folks!

Watching what you do! Human behaviour!

That's what I like!

Humans do some really

interesting things!

Like, besides killing ourselves,

we also kill each other!

Murder! And we're the only ones

who do that, by the way!

We are the only species on

earth that deliberately kills

members of their own species

for personal gain...

Or pleasure! Sometimes it's just fun...!

We're also the only species that deliberately

kill members of another species...!

...for personal gain, or pleasure!

That's what hunters do! They kill for pleasure!

That's us! Human beings!

Interesting folks! Murderous!

Here's an interesting form of

murder we came up with...!

Assassination! Do you what's interesting

about assassination!

Well, not only does it change those

popularity polls in a big f***ing hurry!

But it's also interesting to

know who it is we assassinate!

Do you ever notice, stop to

think who it is we kill...?

It's always people who

told us to live together

in harmony and try to

love one another...!

Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John

Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy,

Martin Luther King, Martha Rivers,

Malcolm X, John Lennon...

They all said:
"Try to live

together peacefully!" BAM!

Right in the f***ing head!

Apparently we're not ready for that!

Yeah! That's difficult

behaviour for us!

We're too busy, thinking

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