Dick Figures: The Movie Page #3

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See, how would you have

any fun without me?

- Reading is fun.

- Your mom's fun.

Ha, ha, ha.

Now let's find ourselves

a boat.

- How about this one?

It's perfect.

- Dude, let's just

get on that one.

- No way!

Have you seen how awesome

this thing is?

The guns have guns.

- This one's got b*obs

and beer.

Red?

- B*obs and beer!

- I'm going to regret this.

- Holt, bro.

This booze cruise is for

college house dudes and

dudettes only!

Hmm.

Oh, holy sh*t!

You're that freshman

15 dude, dude.

Didn't you, like, nail 15

freshman chicks in, like, one

"ism?

- Naked party!

- Here we go!

Woo!

Oh, sh*t!

That's, like, four!

- F*** my life!

- Oh, yeah.

That was back in my

college years.

Can't believe this, only 15.

- Yes, bro.

Yes!

That what I'm talking about!

Dude, welcome aboard

bro dude bro.

Keg's on the poop deck, babes

on the port side.

Watch out for Neptune.

- Mm.

Mm.

Ahh!

Party foul!

Aw.

- Whoa!

Titties, here I come!

- Oh, wow.

That was away easy.

- Halt, bro!

This party train's sailing for

Port Cool so consider yourself

the third wheel.

- Wait.

But I thought we were cool?

- You thought thinking

was cool?

Dude?

- What the hell?

- Sorry, dude!

Should have banged more

freshmen chicks!

- How the f*** am I going

to get to Japan?

- Take your car, Stupid!

- Hey!

We only have room for

one more pallet!

- Should we load the beer

or the life vests?

- Load the beer!

No regrets!

- No regrets!

- Let's get this party started.

Captain DJ, make that

anchor drop.

And so Red and Blue

took a booze cruise across the

ocean blue, but they were

attacked by pirates and they

were all beheaded!

Just kidding.

They all got sea scurvy and

died out of their butts.

No.

These are all lies.

Unfortunately, they

made it to Japan.

But pirates sounded pretty

cool, right?

All right.

Here's Japan.

- Whoa!

All right!

- Dude, this place

is so racist.

pay phone,

b*tches.

- You ladies want to

sumo wrestle?

- I'm gonna die here.

- See ya, dudes!

No regrets!

- No regrets, dudes!

- Aw, so happy.

- I am so angry!

- I'm in danger of failing out

of Ninja Video Game Academy.

I'm in love with him.

- F*** you.

- Why do the koi

fish cr- cr- cry?

Why do the koi fish

die, die, die?

- Uh.

This place is too

cartoony for me.

- Why do the koi fish

cry, cry, cry?

Da, da, da, da, da,

da, da, da, dead.

- Oh, sick!

Ramen.

- This this some crunchy

ass rice.

- Red, that's a bowl of

tiny cell phones.

- I've had a lot of painful

poops, but this is

gonna be a bad one.

- Yeah.

Good luck with that.

- Oh.

You need the directions?

- Oh yeah.

Wow.

That would be great.

Thanks!

Uh,.

{Speaking japanese]

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