Deadpool Page #2

The middle Escalade’s door opens. The prisoner stops. The

guards unlock his CUFFS.

GUARD:

You’re someone else’s problem now.

The ex-prisoner STRETCHES his arms and strides TOWARD the

convoy.

PRISONER:

Yes. I. Am.

CUE SALT & PEPA’S ‘SHOOP:’

Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 5.

5 EXT. FREEWAY OVERPASS - DAY 5

DEADPOOL sits on the edge of the highest freeway on theoverpass, legs dangling over the side like Huck Finn.

DEADPOOL:

Can I get some fries with that shake-

shake boobie? If looks could kill you

would be an uzi.

Deadpool is using some broken CRAYONS to draw something on ascrap of paper. REVERSE ANGLE to REVEAL a childish drawingof Deadpool SHOOTING another man in the head, brains blowing

out.

The victim’s thought bubble reads: ‘OUCHIE!!!’ Even throughthe mask, Deadpool looks pleased by this.

He turns to CAMERA:

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

Oh, hello, Deadpool here. You may be

wondering whose balls I had to fondle to

get my own movie. Rhymes with

‘Polverine.’ Couple’a smooth criminals.

(ALT:
)

In a word, gorgeous.

(ALT:
)

Surprisingly little hair down there.

(ALT:
)

It’s a jungle down there.

(ALT:
)

Thick underbrush.

(beat)

Anyway, I smell Oscar. The suit’s gonna

match the carpet. Now... places to be...

faces to fix... bad guys to kill...

ANGLE ON a distant BIRD’S EYE VIEW of the freewayinterchange: an interwoven tangle of ramps.

6 EXT. REMOTE AIRFIELD - MORNING 6

AJAX, 30’s, dead-blue eyes, broad shoulders, whip-smart,

tightly coiled stands at ease on a cracked and blistered

tarmac. Behind him, a HEAVILY ARMED CONVOY OF DUCATIS and

ESCALADES. FOUR LARGE ALUMINUM CARGO CRATES sit beside him.

Ajax squints into the sun as A BELL HELICOPTER thrashes the

air above him, kicking up dust as it lands.

(CONTINUED)

Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 6.

6 CONTINUED:
6

A SERBIAN WARLORD, mid-50’s, sharply dressed, armoredBRIEFCASE in hand, climbs out. He is surrounded by ARMEDGUARDS.

The Warlord places the BRIEFCASE on the FOREMOST CRATE. Ajaxpops the case... to find STACKS upon STACKS of THOUSANDDOLLAR BILLS. Satisfied, he closes the briefcase and hands

it to one of his men.

AJAX:

(bangs crate)

They won’t disappoint.

WARLORD:

They’d better not. And next month’s

shipment?

AJAX:

There won’t be one. Demand is high. You

aren’t the only one with a war to win.

WARLORD:

(steps forward)

That won’t do.

Both sets of armed thugs shift to ready positions.

Ajax smiles calmly, but his free hand DARTS OUT and CASUALLYLIFTS the warlord into the air by the THROAT. Fingers findtriggers on both sides.

AJAX:

There’s been a small... disruption in oursupply chain. We’ll deliver in full the

following month. Say, ten percent offfor the inconvenience?

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