Cockneys Vs Zombies Page #2

big, strong boys could come and...

ooh... force it open?

I think Andy is big and strong. He's up

for fixing a window, aren't you, Andy?

Oh, Andy. Dinnae one do without cha?

Oh... See you later.

See you later, Doreen. Say "bye," Andy.

Bye, Doreen.

- Yeah, mate, mate,

- Mate, mate, mate...

you're gonna get lucky today,

I tell you what.

Bit of experience might that be...

Every time. Every f***ing time.

I know you're gonna be knocking

this place down in a few weeks time,

but do you feel the need to rub it in?

There's people here about to have

their dinner. You yuppie twat!

Look, I really need to get

these measurements, okay?

If you don't sling your

hook in 5 seconds time,

I'm gonna ram that f***ing

clipboard so far up your "Aries",

you're gonna have to shove your

pen up your nose to write on it!

- 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

- All right... All right! All right!

There you go.

All right, Ray?

Is it okay if I sit with you?

You sit where you like, sweetheart.

So, where they sending you

when this place closes?

Oh, some place up north.

Bradford, I suppose.

Somewhere full of northern monkeys.

- It's nice up north.

- I wouldn't know.

I've never been further north

than Walthamstow dog track,

and that's far enough for me.

Do you want this one,

or do you want that one?

Oh, you take that one.

You help yourself.

Are you going to the concert today?

What else am I gonna

do while I'm in here?

Sit around, waiting for the

Grim Reaper to come, and...

put us all out of our misery?

Got any fillet steak?

Just what you see, mate.

Mate? Are you being disrespectful, son?

No, Darryl.

Mr. Cooper is what you call me.

You want to be careful what you say,

I could have you killed.

All your gangster mates are dead.

How're you gonna get someone killed?

Advertise in 'Exchange and Mart'?

I could have you done and all.

I know people, I do.

But go on, hurry up! Me stomach thinks

me "apples and pears" being cut.

Your "stairs" are being cut?

No, me "apples and pears"; me "throat".

"Apples and pears" means "stairs".

Take no notice of him,

he gets everything boxed up.

Apples and pears; cares.

Cares and woes; nose.

Nose in me boat (boat=boat race=face);

throat.

Don't you talk English?

Makes sense to me, Eric. There you are.

They don't get better than never.

Lunch, Hamish.

- Come on!

- Oh, all right.

I'd rather have a nap...

- with you.

- Oi! You cheeky bugger.

Yeah, I wouldn't worry.

They're gonna tear the place

down in a couple of weeks.

Yeah. Okay. Speak to them. Bye.

You really think we can do this?

Ain't got a choice, mate.

I mean, look at this idiot.

We don't do anything, this guy is

gonna knock down granddad's care home.

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