Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger - London, New York, Johannesburg Page #2

they are tapping your phone right now.

They are in your ass.

And that's where McCain has the advantage

cos all his friends are dead.

Yeah, man, but this whole election is so...

is so weird.

Just the way they report on it,

the way they cover it.

Everything's so racial, racial, racial.

"How many white people are voting?

How many working-class white people?

"How many white people over 4'8"

are voting for Obama?"

You know?

And the crazy thing is,

whenever white people vote for Barack Obama,

which is a lot of the time, they go,

"Well, you know, they listened to the issues

"and they felt Obama spoke to their issues.

"They went over the issues,

they weighed the pros and cons,

"and they felt that Obama

spoke to their issues."

And whenever black people

vote for Barack, they go,

"Well, they black, he black,

I guess that's why."

Like we don't even have

names on our ballots and sh*t.

Like it's just scratch 'n' sniff on our ballots.

Like it's just pictures of milkshakes.

"No. Strawberry?

No, chocolate! Chocolate.

"I vote chocolate.

That's what I want."

Don't get me wrong.

Don't get me wrong.

We are very excited

about Barack Obama.

Black people are very excited

about Barack Obama.

But we're not just voting

for him cos he's black.

We're voting for him

because he's black and qualified.

That's why we're voting

for the motherf***er, yeah!

That's... That's why we behind him.

You know, it's not like

we're voting for Flavor Flav.

Yeah, boy!

Flavor Flav!

I love Flavor. Loved him for 20 years.

I love the Flavor Of Love show.

I think it's quite entertaining.

But Flavor Flav must be killed.

In order for black people

to truly reach the promised land,

Flavor Flav has to be shot.

These are important times.

We got a black man running for president.

We don't need a n*gger with a f***ing clock

around his neck and a Viking hat on his head.

Not this year, Flavor.

Put a suit on, n*gger.

Put a suit on!

Not this year, Flav.

Not this year.

No, no, no. But we're very...

We're very, very, very excited, man.

I'll tell you this right now,

white people that are here.

If Barack Obama wins,

if you have any activity in your life

that involves black people

that is supposed to happen

the day after election day,

it will not get done.

Election day's a Tuesday.

That Wednesday,

don't schedule no black sh*t.

Like, if you gotta fly,

ain't nobody carrying your bags.

You got to get your own

motherfuckin' bag.

We got a black president,

motherf***er.

Sh*t.

It's going to be hard for Barack Obama

to be president, man.

Cos Barack Obama has to

overcome a handicap

that the other candidate

does not have to overcome.

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