Carry On Emmannuelle Page #3

I'm sure you didn't do it after he was dead.

- Here, what's he doing?

- Heavy breathing.

Ooh!

Oh, Richmond,

I think you should have a look at this.

- Do you think he ought to at his age?

- It might jog his memory.

- Here, what am I going to see?

- Well, it won't be the Muppet Show.

Is it... is it Starsky And Hutch?

If you ask me, it's more like Starkers And Crutch.

(Crunch)

Hello, hello, hello. What's all this, then?

- It's what the butler saw.

- Here. They're at it.

At what?

Here, hold my hat. Come on. Get off!

- Turn over!

- No, no, I don't like.

- Emile, I am a woman.

- Yes, so I've noticed.

I am your wife. You should not hide from me.

There's not much to hide.

Snow White meets the incredible shrinking man!

I will make you love me if it's the last thing I do.

Aargh!

I think she's knackered him.

Come on. Back on the job.

Get off!

- What is the matter?

- You've broken it.

Oh la la! Turn over and let me have a look.

No, no, not that. My back. I can't move.

- It's probably just cramp.

- No, no. I'm in agony.

Straighten your legs.

I can't straighten anything. I'm completely bent.

- Bend back your toes.

- I caaan't... Oh!

- Don't panic.

- I can't panic, either.

Just lie still.

What else do you think I'm doing,

you stupid fool?

I give up. I'm going to get changed

and I'm going out.

- What for?

- I want Leyland to drive me around London.

But what about me?

Don't worry, my dear.

I'm sure you'll soon be feeling yourself again.

Is that you, Theodore?

Who were you expecting? General Amin?

- I've warmed your slippers. They're in the oven.

- Thank you.

Warmed them? You've roasted them.

Oh, Mother, I do wish

you wouldn't fuss over me so.

It's no trouble at all. I do it for your arthritis.

- I've never had arthritis.

- There you are. It works.

Have you had your vitamin C tablet

this morning?

Yes, Mother.

And your vitamin B tablet?

- Yes, Mother.

- And your halibut oil capsule?

Yes. I've had so many pills,

I'll soon need a stomach pump.

Prevention is better than cure.

Dr Jones said to me, "Mrs Valentine,

your son Theodore is very delicate."

With respect, Mother,

when he said it, I was six months old.

He's a very clever doctor, Dr Jones.

If you were at death's door,

he'd pull you through.

That's what I'm afraid of.

Theodore, you're sickening for something.

Mother, come and sit down. I want to talk to you.

Very well.

Now then, what shall we talk about?

Mother, I've met someone that's very dear to me.

Was it your Auntie Hilda, dear?

No, Mother. I've met this girl.

This wonderful girl.

Don't be silly. There's no such thing.

I think I'm in love.

Oh, nonsense! You're far too young.

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