BASEketball Page #2

Oh, God!

Man! - Dude, we win the game! A sweet

psyche-out. - Here's another one!

We win and they get

the chicks. That sucks, dude.

- We gotta get jobs.

Then we get the khakis.

Then the chicks.

Starting tomorrow

we gotta stop playing games!

Miss it. Steve Perry...

Yes! Three outs. I'm up.

- Bottom of the 5th. - Joseph R. Cooper?

Single! Man on 1st.

- Are you Joe Cooper?

Cut the crap, Squeak. You know me.

This authorizes me to enter

your property and terminate services

until all delinquent payments

have been generated. - What?

He's here to shut off the gas.

- You work for the gas company?

Gentlemen...

- Double! Guy on 2nd and 3rd.

Is your canine locked up

or secured within your domicile?

He's getting his claws removed.

- If you'll excuse me.

Does it just suck being you?

- I'll show those guys

what sucks.

Oh yeah, he misses...

- Damn it!

...I'm running outta ideas.

- That's why we have this short shot.

Kind of like a bunt. - Exactly!

Doesn't put any runners on base. - Sweet!

You lied to me! Again!

Right. The dog's appointment is tomorrow.

- Honest mistake, Squeak.

My name's not Squeak. It's Kenny!

Alright, you little b*tch.

Take a shot!

No, I wanna turn off your gas.

And don't call me b*tch!

Okay, Squeak, let's just shoot for it.

What? Are you insane?

This is my job, you a**holes!

All you gotta do

is make a single from here,

and you can shut off our gas, and

we'll never call you Squeak again.

Or b*tch.

Or b*tch.

From here?

Alright. Check this sh*t out!

Tough break, Squeak.

Now you gotta fetch the ball, b*tch.

Three months later

We can win the game with this one.

Bring me home.

We win the game!

We got 5 runs that inning.

This game's pretty badass.

You're up.

Tyler, I hear your sister's going out

with Squeak.

Another psych-out.

- I'm not going out with his sister.

That's the defense. - We gotta say

f***ed-up sh*t to make 'em miss.

Oh, right.

Wait a minute! Why is me going out

with his sister f***ed up?

Pierce, I hear

your mom's going out with Squeak.

Two outs!

You're gonna own 1/12 of the rent,

the water bill, the power bill,

the cable bill...

- Check it out! - What's that?

A baseketball!

You made a ball? Out of what?

Lazy Boy

I can't believe you were fired for

not shutting off our gas for 6 weeks!

Losing the truck pissed 'em off the most.

You can camp out here for a while.

- This is pretty sweet!

Does it fold out? - Yeah, a great bed!

But that's Jenkins' bed.

Your bed's over there.

Dude, that is so f***ing weak. How am I

supposed to get a chick in that?

You couldn't get a chick if you had

$100 hanging outta your zipper.

Yeah, I could!

- No, you're a little b*tch.

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