Bald Page #2

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I'm awake.

I was just thinking

about something important.

What? Lesbian duos?

No.

I was thinking about what

I'm gonna tell my parents.

Ah, f*** those clowns.

Man, those niggas don't know you.

Yeah, thanks the B.

But that's not gonna help me right now.

Hey, guys.

What's up, O. B?

You're late.

What's wrong with Andy?

Oh, he just got kicked out of school,

and he's broke.

So what's up with

your big internet idea?

Soon.

Soon.

Come into this love, buddy.

I'm going bald, O.B.

So?

I had my first heart attack

while playing with myself.

Life's embarrassing.

That's not so bad.

My mom and her bridge club found me.

Woodsy.

What?

You don't have to worry

about your f***ed up hair loss.

Man, they got this Japanese

nigga scientist, man.

This motherf***er figured out a way

to make hair grow on your head

by using dead hair from your anus.

That doesn't help me.

Well, it should.

Ah, f*** it.

I'm a great guy with a lot to offer.

If a girl doesn't want to be with me

just because I have a few less

strands of hair on my head,

who needs her?

Oh, Woodsy.

You like her?

Yes.

And call me Andrew.

Would you have sex with her?

Of course I would.

I, Andrew Wood.

That's my nigga.

Motherfuckin' nigga.

What the f***?

Hold up!

Where you going in such a hurry?

Please don't look at my hairline.

Please don't look at my hairline.

It's over.

She saw my bald spot.

I'm going to my physics class.

Physics.

You're studying to be an astronaut.

No.

Do you even know what physics is?

Oh, yeah, physics.

Physics is the study of matter, and...

Let's see how long it takes

for him to look at my breasts.

Those things are huge.

I need to suck 'em or at

least tit bang 'em a little.

Girl, if you knew

what I could do to you.

Hello?

My head's up here.

Oh.

Sorry, I was...

Maybe you should ask what my name is.

What's your name?

My name's Caroline.

Thanks for asking.

But I have to head to class,

so I'll see you around, Andrew Wood.

How did you know what my name was?

Devon told me.

Devon.

He was my ultra homosexual friend.

From the moment this boy was born,

all he could think about

was c*cks and fashion.

He had helped me before,

and surely he would help me again.

Where would I be without Devon?

Good old, ultra homosexual Devon.

[Knocks on door]

- Who is it?

- It's me.

I need your help with something.

Andy pants, Andy pants,

who is it this time?

Oh, and you brought Max with you.

How's it going, butterball?

Good, Devon.

I'm always good.

Ooh.

You ladies hear about the perverted jock

on the wrestling team?

No, what happened?

Well, apparently...

a player was kicked off the team

for rubbing up against

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