Backyard Ashes Page #2

and tell the missus.

Hey, Norm. Talk later.

Hey!

- DOUGIE:
You can't do this.

- I'm sorry?

You can't just come here and sack

people and then just piss off.

It's my job to make these decisions

so the factory can continue...

DOUGIE:
You don't get it, do ya?

It's not my job to 'get it'.

If you'll excuse me.

Very important man.

SHEP:
Oh, yeah? What makes

you say that, Taka?

He doesn't drive a Commodore.

Meow!

That's bullshit, that is.

And stumps, I take it.

Yeah. At stumps.

You alright, love?

He may as well have given it away.

Times are tough, darl.

It's a bloody joke, Lil.

Don't get yourself worked up, love.

MEN:
Ooh!

Come on, go! Go! Go!

- (MEN SHOUT, WOMEN CHUCKLE)

- Safe.

Good running, mate, good running.

Well, this could be the last ball.

SPOCK:
Will Norm's career

have the fairytale finish

he so hopes?

Stuck here on 49 runs and 22 beers.

- Come on, Dougie.

- His last ball.

Serve us up a pie, mate.

(ALL GROAN)

- That's four.

- Hehe!

- That's it!

- (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Well played, Norm.

SPOCK:
As Norm leaves the field

for the very, very last time,

the crowd and his teammates

give him a standing ovulation!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

- See you, Taka.

- Thanks, man.

See you, Tak.

It was a good day, Dougie.

It seemed to go alright.

Thanks for chucking

it together for us.

Ah, it's the least I could do.

Had to make sure you pissed off.

(CHUCKLES) Thanks, bastard.

Jeez, I hope

there's no d*ckheads like you

in Broken Hill.

Yeah, me too.

You might end up coming back.

I guess I'll... be seein' ya.

You keep in touch.

I'll fix the fence up

before we head off tomorrow.

No, don't bother.

We'll see what sort of nutter

buys the joint.

If he's anything like you,

I'll build a frigging moat.

(CHUCKLES)

Righto.

Come on, darling, wake up.

Go on. Into bed.

You alright?

(BEER BOTTLE HISSES)

(BOTTLE TOP CLATTERS)

Do you reckon someone

will move in soon, Dad?

- I don't know, love.

- Maybe they'll like cricket.

Yeah, maybe.

- What are you two up to?

- Nothing.

- DOUGIE:
What's up?

- Um...

I was just checking my Facebook...

Bloody Facebook!

What do I care what some bastard's

doing every three minutes?

Anyway, there's a message here

from Norm and Denise.

Really? How are they doing?

Not real good.

Houses are a bit expensive.

They'll have to rent

longer than they thought.

- Norm will go nuts.

- LILLEE:
Hmm.

Bastard! Cancelled his

contract just like that!

- Don't get started again...

- It's as weak as piss.

He could've given him

a bit of notice. I mean...

We could be next.

I'm telling you, Lil. We could.

- They'll go through that factory...

- (TRUCK BRAKE HISSES)

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