A Very Murray Christmas Page #2

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And that may or may not be true.

Okay, you just have to go away. I'm sorry.

Please just go as far away

as your company will send you.

Miss, could you check him, please?

Thank you.

I've heard that one.

You better check yourself, Bill.

You better run like a thief

from this car wreck.

Total disaster.

Total disaster.

Are you an actress?

Tonight, Christmas Eve, from

the legendary Hotel Carlyle in New York,

Bill Murray

and his celebrity friends gather...

See, Bill? Easy peasy.

We cut from you here live on stage,

to your guests' pre-taped reaction shots.

No one knows you aren't

in the same room together. Boom, done.

- A Christmas miracle.

- You've got to be kidding.

This is from last year's Golden Globes.

That's not going to match.

Yeah, match it...

What does it have to match?

It's all just fantasy, right?

I mean, we're the weavers of dreams.

We're the makers of merry.

- This is all just an illusion.

- Absolutely. It's all an illusion, Bill.

That's Brad Pitt and Angelina.

They're in Africa.

And it's daytime in Africa.

They're not in New York at Bemelmans.

They're in Africa.

Those are huts.

Who sees a hut?

Come on. Bill, calm down and trust us.

Were you nominated for an Emmy

for producing the SAG awards?

- No.

- Neither were we.

So get up there and do the show.

We go live in 90 seconds.

Bill, I think it's a blessing

that these people didn't show up.

Because now it's your time, you know.

The universe gives us many gifts.

It's whether or not we receive them.

- That's right. Receive the gift.

- This job is always surprising me.

- I'm so alone.

- Okay, Bill...

- You know...

- We're with you...

You know, you and I...

we're not in the same business.

Okay, there he goes. He's going.

Bill, I don't want to pressure you,

but one minute until air.

Five cameras. I like our chances

of someone getting it right.

60 seconds! He's going up.

Let's get ready. Are you ready, Paul?

- Ready!

- Alright.

- What are we doing?

- Let's jingle those bells, buddy.

We're going live

in five seconds, everyone.

Is there a microphone

or do we imagine that, too?

- Use your stage voice.

- Yeah.

You're on stage.

There we go. Look.

- We've got one sound guy.

- Swing the camera. The other way.

You people are disgusting.

- You're looking great up there.

- Crushing it.

We're going live on air. Stand by.

Everyone set? We're live on TV in...

eight, seven, six, five, four, three...

Make it great. Two... Go, Bill!

Dashing through the snow

In a one horse open sleigh

Over fields we go

Laughing all the way

Ha, ha, ha!

This is a nightmare.

I can't do this. I'm sorry, Ivan.

- I can't do this.

- Cut the tape!

I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be laughing.

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