Zmd: Zombies Of Mass Destruction Page #6

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your God-given right.

Okay, I repeat, we need to get the f*** up

out of here.

I know, but what about Mom?

You can't encourage the citizens to go

around and blow up everything in sight...

- I hear a lot of noise in the background.

- Irresponsible...

Mom?

You are an absolute idiot.

Why did I agree to do this show?

We're not getting anywhere, here. I'm done.

Just shut that thing off.

Mom.

Shoot... Shoot her.

- Come on!

- I can't. Just run.

- Brian, did you board up the house?

- Everything but the back door.

- We'll leave the back door open for an exit.

- But what about Mom?

- I'll take care of you, Judy. Come on.

- Oddly enough, it doesn't hurt that bad.

Sort of numb and tingly.

Sweet Jesus, here we go. Crying Brian.

That's you in a pickle.

Look, we got plenty of water.

And we went to the superstore,

so we got Ramen and beans and sh*t.

I didn't have half of that growing up

and I turned out better for it.

Brian, you gotta learn self-reliance.

You think the government gives a sh*t

about you or me or your mother?

Look, I don't know about the next life,

but in this one,

a man has gotta learn

to take care of himself.

But... But what about Mom?

The United States is under attack.

Terrorists have managed to unleash

a virus.

The likes of which has

no precedent in the history of our world.

- Now tonight...

- Dad.

Brian, so help me God, I will plunder you

if you open your mouth again.

- But Mom!

- Your mom is made of tougher stuff

than you think.

It's just a bite from a zombie.

...as zombies.

What?

The White House has issued a statement

attributing the attack

to the infamous terrorist leader,

Mohammed Mustafa.

Citing the following videotape message,

which surfaced on Christmas Eve

of last year.

For years you Americans have terrorized

our people, insulted Allah and our culture.

You tried to destroy us...

Again with the Muslims.

Dad, she was bitten. Haven't you ever

seen a zombie movie before?

Brian, you know I'm a vampire man.

Now get your head in the game,

for Christ's sake.

Mr. Miller, I left my purse

in my dead boyfriend's car.

Could I just use your phone

to call my dad?

You tried to destroy us and yet we live.

You tried to devour us and yet

you will devour yourselves.

Dad she's going to turn into a zombie.

Dad, we have to tie her up

or she could attack us.

Tying her up ain't gonna do it.

This is the infamous terrorist leader,

Mohammed Mustafa,

- who swore...

- We gotta throw her out.

- She's threatening our family.

...who reportedly brought the zombies in...

What are you talking about?

Mom is our family.

I'm not talking about Mom.

...instructions on the things

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