Zmd: Zombies Of Mass Destruction Page #4

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Now don't get so defensive.

Now, his father on the other hand...

Now, there was a rock.

He was one of the last real men.

Yeah, until you got through with him.

Such a drama queen.

The medicines just don't seem

to be cutting it.

- Should we just call it a night?

- Mrs. Hunt,

are we still up for dessert, or...

Yes, yes, of course. Dessert, dessert.

I made your favorite.

- Ladyfingers?

- Ladyfingers.

Ladyfingers? You're such a fag, Tom.

Do you know where my lighter went?

What do you think, Freed?

- It's about me.

- See, I knew you'd get it.

- Does the song say I'm like a cheetah?

- Yeah. Yeah, that's my favorite line, too.

I mean, I know it's not like

Radiohead or anything, you know? But...

God!

- You dad?

- Yeah.

Dude, I heard you got fired today.

How stupid do you have to be to get fired

from washing dishes, D-Bone?

Well, you know, it's just your dad

is just such a total a**hole.

Yeah, right, because it's not like

he's trying to run a business or anything.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Are you standing up for your father?

- No.

Are you angry?

You are. You're pissed off.

God, you're just like your father

underneath all that, aren't you?

Gross!

Man, all you Iraqis are so pissed off

all the time.

You're, like, the third person today

to call me Iraqi. You know that?

Maybe it's because you have

such a perfect l-rack.

- Wow. That is so dumb of you to say.

- Or, you know, whatever, Middle Eastern.

Why do you people always take things

so Syria-sly?

I don't know, but I do know

that there is Norway

you are getting into these panties tonight.

I'm not... I'm not from Norway.

I'm American.

So am I, dumb sh*t.

Why does everybody think

I'm supposed to be this...

Hey, hey, whoa, Kuwait a minute, all right?

Now, you know I'm just joking, right?

You're right. I'm a dick.

You've been having a rough night,

and I'm being insensitive.

Look, man, I'm just Frida. That's it.

Why does everybody want me to be

whatever it is that they think I am, anyway?

I can't even have a normal conversation

with anybody.

I know, you're right.

I mean, you think that just 'cause I'm a real

American I don't run into this kind of sh*t?

I know what people think about me.

I know they think I'm just some total hack

who's never gonna write a good song.

So, I make jokes, you know. It's...

What do you call it?

It's a defense mechanism.

But I...

I love you, Frida. With a capital "L."

You're my lady.

That's my blood! Oh, God.

Oh, my God!

I can't do this.

Okay, Tom, you can do this.

- I can't.

- You can do this.

- I can't.

- You can, just say it.

"Mom, I'm gay."

- Mom?

- Yes, Thomas?

I'm...

- I'm thinking about...

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