Yours, Mine And Ours


Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Move it! Move it! Move it!

Move it! Move it! Move it!

That means you, too, ethan.

Head ashore, sailor.

Aye, aye, sir. Head ashore!

I don't know, but i've been told!

Coast guard kids got lots of soul!

- Sound off

- one, two

- i get the top bunk because i'm older.

- By two minutes.

You know, when i was an ensign,

i always had the bottom bunk.

- Did the guy above you wet his bed?

- Good point.

- Sound off

- three, four

do they have girls' boxing

at our new school?

I hope not.

Does not complaining

about the move from san diego...

count as my good deed for today?

I'd sign off on that.


this is our 12th move in my lifetime.

I admire your record-keeping, harry.

First-rate ship's log.

William, what have you got there?

Academy applications, sat forms,

capitol hill summer internship forms...

and the number of the girl

two houses down.

- Outstanding.

- One, two.

- So that's christina beardsley.

- Christina!

The zip is 06320.

Christina, we have just moved here.

Who could you possibly be talking to?

J. Crew. I wanna make sure

they change all my shipping information.

- Sound off

- three, four

well, mrs. Munion,

what do you think of connecticut?

I'm delighted to be here

in the birthplace of lyme disease.

I see

we're not unpacking our suitcase again.

Not until you guarantee

this is our last move.

You're gonna like new london, harry.

I used to live here when i was a kid.

- You were a kid?

- Yeah.

Hey, i didn't hear anything

about that guarantee.

Well, son,

you know the life of a military brat.

New places, new adventures.

This isn't our last move, is it?

No, this is just one stopover

on our way to d.c.

Someday our dad is gonna be...

commandant of

the entire u.s. Coast guard.

Someday i am gonna be...

the commandant

of the entire u.s. Coast guard...

so don't piss me off.

Unpack your suitcase.

Yes, sir.

Admiral, look at that!

Fiona, come back!

Fiona, you're not supposed to eat pizza!

- Looks like a nuthouse.

- It looks like fun.

There's no ham on it.

Come back!

Oh, max, i'm so excited.

If you get me this private line

at saks fifth avenue...

i will love you forever. This is cute, huh?

Yes, thank you. This one is great.

I should really get going

if i'm gonna make that meeting.

I'm sorry.

Do you have to keep doing that?

It's in my soul. Don't look at the camera.

Naoko, just back off a little bit.

Give him a little room.

- Do a master shot, okay?

- Fine.

Hello. Excuse me.

You wanna hear my new song?

Okay, rock on. Yes!

Mommy's gonna listen

to the rest of this song...

when your mom and i

are finished with work.

- Here you go.

- It was great, phoebe.

Helen, i gotta tell you,

i think we're set here.

No, just one more, max.

I was thinking about this one.

- I mean, i don't know. Lau.

- Yeah?

- What do you think of this one, honey?

- Please!

It needs a little swag.

A scooch of gucci.

Like this, but in gold.

No one will ever doubt you're my son.

- Mom!

- What?

- He's painting our roses again.

- It's art.

You can't call it art

unless you have talent.

That's just tagging.

Helen, really, i have got to go.

I think we're really good.

I really should be getting out of here.

Max, just give me one second. I love

this one. Just need one second, okay?


there's something wrong with my sax.

What is it, honey?

- Okay, i'll be right back.

- Sounds the same to me.

What's on my head? What's

on my head? What's on my head?

- Jimi, we found rainbow!

- Don't let it bite me.

- Don't let it bite me.

- Where's rainbow?

- Get it off!

- Here he is. Come here, rainbow.

- Come here, rainbow.

- Over there.

Hey, max, thank you

for being so incredibly patient.

Get back here!

- This is fun.

- Fiona, come back.


Aldo, are you okay?

I'm shiny, mommy.

Yes, you are very shiny.

Max. Max, i am so sorry.

It gets a little crazy

around here sometimes.

A little?

No, helen, this is all terrific.

You're very talented,

and so are your 10 kids.

Thank you, max.

Maybe our next meeting will be

a contract signing...

and maybe it'll be in the city.

Yeah. Sounds good.

- Hey, max.

- Oh, i'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- See you, max.

- Okay.

Okay, can you please explain to me...

why you just let that very single guy out

of here without even asking for a date?

Phoebe, what guy could

possibly deal with all of this?

Is this all yours, admiral?

No, it belongs to the coast guard.

I'm just gonna run it for them.

- So it is all yours.

- Basically.

Frank! Frank.

- Good to see you, man.

- Good to see you, too, darrell.

All right. "mad dog" beardsley.

Who'd have thought they'd ever let

frank "the mad dog" back here...

much less run the place?

- You remember my youngest, ethan?

- Mad dog jr.

Can you give me a...


You are out of control, little man.

- Request permission to play, admiral?

- Permission granted.

I've seen navy seals

not as well-trained.

Well, when there's eight of them

and one of you, it's your only hope.

It's mad dog beardsley, the pirate.

Always on red alert with him.

Hey, frank, are you dating at all yet?

No, no. Not yet.

'Cause i know this terrific gal

i'd love to set you up with.

I know you'd like her.

She's too good for me.

No, darrell. No, thanks.

All right. Well, just think about it,

that's all i'm saying.

- I'll think about it.

- All right.

... winds out of the southeast

at 5 miles an hour.

The barometer right now is 30.27

and falling, air humidity 76%.

Now, there's a 20% chance of showers

for new london and points south.

Way to go, paula!

Way to go, paula! You go!

- Why is mommy crying?

- I think it's hormones.

- Mom!

- Here.

- Mom, do you have my algebra...

- i got it covered.

- Mom, can i have $5?

- In the chicks.

- Can you hand me that?

- Thank you for saving this.

All right, ladies, wanna go get dressed?

- Yeah.

- Come on, let's go upstairs. Come on.

- I'm out.

- Bye.

See you later, alligator.

Bye, mommy.

Reunion cruise.

Oh, yeah,

like i have time to go on a cruise.

Mom! Mick's dog just puked on aldo.


- I'm worried.

- Don't be, eth.

I've done this a million times.

You'll be great.

Okay, guys, fan out.

William and i will take ethan to pre-k.

All right. Everyone meet up here

afterwards, okay?

Come on, it'll be fine.

- I'm gonna get you!

- Superheroes, hurray!

- Superhero bouncers.

- Hey, watch out!

I thought you weren't interested in max.

And i thought

you weren't gonna wear black anymore.

This isn't black. This is tie-dye.

And i'm not interested in max.

I'm interested in that buyer

that he's bringing up from new york.

Oh, there it is. Thanks, phoebe.

Why don't you just have them here?

Homes are for free expression,

not for good impressions.


If you catch my drift.

Are you sure

you wanna wear the uniform, admiral?

Not that you don't look great.

It just looks so military.

She might as well know

what she's getting.

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Ron Burch

Ron Burch is an American writer whose work spans television, film, plays, short fiction and novels. His movies include Head over Heels , Yours, Mine and Ours and Ferdinand. He is the executive producer/showrunner (along with David Kidd) of the DreamWorks Animation TV show Dinotrux. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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