Your Friends & Neighbors Page #4

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talking to you too. All right. Bye-bye.

- Who was that?

- Your best friend.

I just talked to him 20 minutes ago.

He didn't want to talk to me?

I told him I'd be there.

I'm the one who invited him.

- Is that pink?

- This? No, it's salmon.

You might wanna put that jacket back on.

Why?

- Where'd you get it?

- My wife gave it to me.

Enough said.

It's past 11.

Where the f*** is everybody?

So, how did this thing turn out?

She say she made a mistake or...

Oh. No. That.

No, I f***ed her.

Complete revenge f***

which are always the best.

Really? You... I mean...

I don't kid about sh*t like that.

She questioned a decision

I made at work so, you know.

- I had to.

- Sure.

Anyway, I wine her a little,

I dine her a touch.

Get her back to my place.

So, we're in bed.

This just seemed like a good time

to call back.

I wanted to call back.

No, he's over

on the other side of the room

Yeah, that'd be fine.

Yes, I'll be there. It was my idea.

Of course I'll be there.

What do you have on?

No, I don't mean music.

What are you wearing?

I slip my cock out, right?

I mean, completely jerk it right out.

And I turn her back over,

kinda rough, by her hair.

I tell her,

"Get the f*** outta my place."

If she ever does that to a guy again,

crosses one of us in public,

I'll f***ing kill her.

I think she believed me.

Jesus.

- You're not making this up?

- F***, no. This happened.

I'm not one to be messed with.

I don't give a sh*t about anybody.

This is my life.

- Oh. Sh*t. Do you want me to...

- No.

Anyway, I got a letter in the mail.

This was a couple of weeks ago.

Full apology.

She even had one

put in my personnel file.

It was enough to let me know

that I was justified in what I did.

Oh, man.

- What do you want to do?

- Has he told you this story?

No, but I'm sure it's great.

- How would you know that?

- It's incredible.

You'd have taken the same steps.

Common decency dictated the whole thing.

Who cares? It's a sickness anyway.

- What is?

- All of it.

Relationships. Caring.

Love's a disease.

You know, it really is.

Yeah, but it's curable.

- Who said that again?

- I don't remember her name.

It's true though, isn't it?

Oh, yeah.

I'm glad you called.

I'm glad you were home.

I have no idea what happened.

Some thing happened and I don't know

what it was but she just turned on me.

Come on.

She says I talk, OK?

I'm a talker.

I'm accused of speaking.

F*** me, you know.

I mean, we're screwing for Christ's

sake. We're screwing around.

There's supposed

to be some improvisation.

Isn't there? Jesus.

So, now I... I don't speak. I...

I hold my breath, make love like

we're in a nursing home and she laughs.

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