You Disappear Page #4

My wife's brain injury affects

her energy, bodily functions and thinking.

We were in a car accident five years ago.

This is Andrea.

Hi. Andrea, biochemist.

My husband had a fall on a

mountaineering trip 18 months ago.

Yes.

He's in a wheelchair now

and has trouble speaking.

I don't understand how you all cope.

I'm very impressed. Year after year.

What you have to endure is much

worse than what I endure.

I don't think I belong here.

I think I'd better leave.

No you don't.

My husband is still the man I love.

His smile is the same,

and so are his interests.

He's just got some

physical challenges now.

Your situation is much harder.

Your husband's injury has you unsure of

who you're sacrificing yourself for.

I...

Mia, it's a comfort to me to have

realized that we're a biological system.

Biological system?

Yes. I am a biological system,

rather than a soul with a free will.

It makes it easier for me to cope when

I feel depression coming on.

What do you mean?

Well, I tell myself this...

"Some of my hormones are acting up now,

or some specific brain cells

are active right now,

and that's why I'm depressed."

And then you put on your running shoes

so the endorphins can cheer you up.

It passes.

Good feeling.

We aren't to blame for our situation.

Yes, come here and sit down.

Sorry. I'm not sure what came over me.

It's okay.

We in the Brain Injury Support Group

for Families read a lot.

We read about our partner's condition,

but also everything on neuroscience.

We are functionally blind two hours a

day thanks to 'saccadic masking'.

The brain eliminates some visual

impressions when we move our eyes.

Otherwise we'd get seasick.

We think we see everything because

the brain fills out the gaps,

with predictions about what we

would have seen.

Imagine if we were such a couple.

Think of something.

You want me to?

Yes, think.

Okay. I'm thinking.

What, here? Now?

But if the predictions of the brain

don't correspond with the situation,

we may make the wrong

decisions at critical times.

That would come as a

complete surprise.

Not due to an oversight,

but because our brain didn't

predict the situation correctly.

What am I thinking about?

Strawberries.

Strawberries?

Berries?

In Swedish it's strawberries..

strawberries.

But no, not that.

Yes it's true.

No.

What then?

Pol Pot.

You're thinking about Pol Pot?

Mmmh.

Why?

The world's tallest dwarf.

Why Pol Pot?

You go from thinking about

sex to thinking about Pol Pot.

Yes.

How did he get into your head?

It's weird.

Mia Halling, you have been

summoned to give evidence,

but as the defendant's wife,

you are not obligated to do so.

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