Year One Page #5

Synopsis: Zed, a prehistoric would-be hunter, eats from a tree of forbidden fruit and is banished from his tribe, accompanied by Oh, a shy gatherer. On their travels, they meet Cain and Abel on a fateful day, stop Abraham from killing Isaac, become slaves, and reach the city of Sodom where their tribe is now enslaved. Zed and Oh are determined to rescue the women they love, Maya and Eema. Standing in their way is Sodom's high priest and the omnipresent Cain. Zed tries to form an alliance with Princess Innana, which may backfire. Can an inept hunter and a smart but slender and diffident gatherer become heroes and make a difference?
Genre: Adventure, Comedy
Director(s): Harold Ramis
Production: Sony Pictures
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
4.9
Metacritic:
34
Rotten Tomatoes:
15%
PG-13
Year:
2009
97 min
$43,337,279
Website
797 Views


You still think the world just ends?

Come on, admit it. The fruit man

has the knowledge.

Whoa, whoa, be careful.

Did you learn a lot when you ate

the fruit?

Yeah. I can see, like, 10 minutes

into the future now.

- So what am I doing in ten minutes?

- You're having sex with a zebra.

- That's not funny.

- I'm not joking.

Hope you're ready to bone some zeeb.

People. More than one.

Walking that way.

You think? There's about

a thousand footprints there.

- I mean, it's kind of obvious.

- Oh, yes.

- They stopped here to poop. Look.

- No, I don't want to.

Two men, maybe three. A child.

Or a small woman, maybe.

What are you doing?

You don't know where that's been.

- I know where it's been.

- Don't touch it.

You don't know if a squirrel

has peed on it.

Still warm.

Almost hot in the center.

Looks like they had some nuts.

Apples, maybe.

What are you doing?

- Yep, apples.

- What difference does it make?

That doesn't help us to know that.

You can tell if they ate some sh*t.

There's a lot of sh*t in that sh*t.

My mistake, this is bear poop.

What's that, though?

This one's mine.

Tonight, we feast.

We're gonna need

some arrowheads.

This is where you die!

Easy, easy.

He won't get far.

- Did you shoot my cow?

- Oh, no.

Yes. Well, we're hunters.

Well, he's a hunter. I'm a maker.

- A maker?

- I made this loincloth. I make arrows.

I've made a shelf unit for my hut.

I welcome us to you.

- What do you do?

- What does it look like?

- We're farmers.

- Well, he's a farmer, I'm a herdsman.

You're a suck is what you are.

- My brother Cain. I'm called Abel.

- You are called "suck."

There you go with that "suck."

What does that mean?

Short for "suckle."

Short for "suckle up."

You're suckling up to God.

You're a suckle-up.

Somebody's upset because God

looked on my sacrifice with favor.

"God looked upon my sacrifice

with favor." I mean...

- Is he a total suck or what?

- Hard to say. We just met.

- Is he a total suck or what?

- Hard to say. We just met.

Why are you bringing these guys

in it?

- They live in a tree.

- Oh, see?

I mean, come on. You just gotta be

so superior to everyone else.

No, but superior to... Than you.

Superior... Let's see how superior

you are when I kick your ass.

- Oh, yeah?

- You want some of that?

- Yes, I do.

- Guys.

- I'm right here. I'm right here.

- No, come on.

No. This smug a**hole insulted you,

and I want him to take it back.

- We're not that insulted.

- Why don't you make me?

No, no. Boys, boys.

You are brothers. Let's just relax...

...and let's all just get

some perspective...

Yeah. Yeah. That's how we do it.

That's how we do it. That's...

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Harold Ramis

Harold Allen Ramis (November 21, 1944 – February 24, 2014) was an American actor, director, writer, and comedian. His best-known film acting roles were as Egon Spengler in Ghostbusters (1984) and Ghostbusters II (1989) and Russell Ziskey in Stripes (1981); he also co-wrote those films. As a writer-director, his films include the comedies Caddyshack (1980), National Lampoon's Vacation (1983), Groundhog Day (1993), and Analyze This (1999). Ramis was the original head writer of the television series SCTV, on which he also performed, and he was one of three screenwriters of the film National Lampoon's Animal House (1978). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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