Woman of the Year

Miss Harding and Mr. Kieran

both have their hands up.

- Full title.

- "Nights in the Garden..."

- Hello, Sam.

- Hi, kid.

Hi, Sammy. You missed most

of the Information Please!

I guess I have lived around a lot.

With my father, that is.

Tess Harding. Treat for the intellect.

Rest your intellect and give me

a Scotch and water.

The Chronicle ought to form

a cheering section for her.

Because we write on the same paper?

Did you ever meet her, Sam?

I understand she don't talk if you

haven't signed a nonaggression pact.

Prescott lists four seaports...

... which have had great

strategic importance in this war:

Dakar, Narvik, Derna and Singapore.

Were any of these ever under

the American flag?

Derna, in 1803.

- The war with Barbary pirates.

- Right. Most of us...

Can you figure a dame that knew

what was going on in Libya in 1803?

Fadiman says she's number-two dame,

next to Mrs. Roosevelt.

So they're giving them numbers now,

like public enemies.

Well, Mrs. Prescott does not receive

$ 25 and a set of the Britannica.

The next question comes from

Mr. C.A. Copeland of Glenport, Florida.

What is the most frequently run

distance in American sports?

- Hundred yards.

- No, no. It's a mile, counting horses.

I'll try our guest expert first.

Miss Harding.

Ninety feet, sister.

I really don 't know anything

about American sports.

Mr. Kieran?

- Ninety feet.

- Care to explain?

The distance between

home plate and first base.

Yes, or between any of the bases

in the game of baseball.

Thousands of men and boys

run it every day.

Really? Seems like

a frightful waste of energy.

There's an awful lot of energy

wasted in the world these days.

That's telling her, John.

- Isn 't anything more wasteful

than war.

However, all the more reason

people ought to give it their full attention.

What would you suggest,

Miss Harding?

Abolish baseball for the duration

of the emergency?

I think that's a very good idea.

- Have I said something wrong?

- Just a minute...

- Things they let them get away with.

- Maybe she was kidding.

She knew what she was saying.

Know what that does?

Take it easy, Sam.

Don't blow your top.

We're concerned with a threat to

what we call our American way of life.

Baseball and what it represents

is part of that way of life.

What's the sense of abolishing

what you're trying to protect?

That's a beautiful thought, Sammy.

- You ought to write a poem about it.

- I'll do better than that.

"...and she might remember what the

Duke of Wellington said about sports.

The duke was the baby

who whipped Napoleon at Waterloo...

...and made an ex-champ out of him.

After it was all over, the duke let out

that the battle was really won...

...on the playing fields of Eton."

What?

Well, that's about all, Miss Harding,

except at the end he calls you:

"The Calamity Jane

of the fast international set."

Yes, Miss Harding.

I've got my pad right here.

Ready. Yes.

"Mr. Craig cites Wellington's

observation concerning Waterloo.

I assume his purpose is to demonstrate

that at one time or another...

...he was subjected to

a grammar-school course in history.

Naturally, Mr. Craig doesn't realize

times have changed since Waterloo."

- What are you gonna do?

- What do you think?

Swing with both hands.

We men have only ourselves to blame.

Women should be kept illiterate

and clean, like canaries.

Hello? Yes.

Oh, yes, Mr. Clayton.

Yes, sir. Yes, I'll be right up.

- She's waiting for you.

- Thanks.

Come in, Sam. Come in.

- Haven't you met Miss Harding?

- Yes, in a belligerent sort of way.

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