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Silence. Be upstanding in court.
All persons who have
anything to do before my lords,
the queen's justices of oyer and terminer
and general jail delivery
for the jurisdiction
draw near and give your attendance.
God save the queen.
What a beautiful day. I've been hoping
for a bit of sun for our homecoming.
the sunshine. Is there a draught?
- Shall I roll up the window?
- Roll up your mouth. You talk too much.
If I'd known how much you talked
I'd never have come out of my coma.
- Now, now.
We've been flat on our back
for two months, we'd better be careful.
Lovely, lovely. It must be perfectly lovely
to live and work in the Inns of Court.
I was in attendance for his appendectomy
and we became engaged
as soon as he could sit up.
And then peritonitis set in
and he went like that.
Teeny-weeny steps, now. Remember
we had a teeny-weeny heart attack.
Oh, shut up!
Williams, my cane.
Here he comes!
Good afternoon. Thank you very much.
Everybody back to work.
Sir Wilfrid, if you don't mind, I'd like
to read you a poem to welcome you back.
Very touching. You can recite it
Now back to work.
What's the matter with you?
Nothing. I'm just happy
that you're your old self again.
I shall go back to the hospital!
They won't take him back.
He wasn't really discharged, you know,
he was expelled for conduct
unbecoming a cardiac patient.
Put these in water, blabbermouth!
Come on in, Carter.
Look at this room.
It's ugly, old and musty.
But I never knew
- Oh, thank you, sir.
I'm not a religious man, but when they
carted you off, I went out and lit a candle.
- Why, thank you, Carter.
- Actually, sir, I was lighting it for myself.
Yes, sir. This is 1952, that was in October
cyanide in his uncle's toothpaste.
I was more frightened than the defendant.
First time I rose to make an objection,
my wig fell off. Where's my wig?
- I've guarded it with me life.
- I hope it still fits.
I lost 30lbs in that wretched hospital.
Still, I suppose my head isn't any smaller.
What's all this?
- We've put it in mothballs.
- Mothballs? Am I not to practise again?
Of course. The solicitors
have been breaking down our doors.
- That's better.
Divorce case, a tax appeal,
- No, Carter.
I'm sorry, but you're not to undertake
Doctors! They've deprived me of alcohol,
tobacco, female companionship.
If only they'd let me do
Might as well get a bigger box,
more mothballs, put me away too.
- 2.30, Sir Wilfrid. Time for our little nap!
- Oh, get out!
get undressed and lie down.
- We? What a nauseating prospect.
- Upstairs, please.
with one of your own rubber tubes.
retained myself for the defence.
My lord, members of the jury, I hereby
enter a plea of justifiable homicide.
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"Witness for the Prosecution" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 14 Nov. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/witness_for_the_prosecution_23585>.