Withnail & I Page #3

I'm going for a slash.

Ponce.

I could hardly

piss straight with fear.

A man with three-quarters of an inch

of brain had taken a dislike to me.

What have I done to offend him? I don't

consciously offend big men like this.

And this one has a definite

imbalance of hormone in him.

Get any more masculine than him,

you'd have to live up a tree.

"I f*** arses. "

Who fucks arses?

Maybe he fucks arses.

Maybe he's written this in some

moment of drunken sincerity?

I'm in considerable

danger in here.

I must get out of here at once.

Perfumed ponce!

You'll be pleased to hear

Monty's invited us for drinks.

Balls to Monty.

We're getting out.

Balls to Monty? I already spent

an hour flattering the bugger.

There's a man over there doesn't like

the perfume. A big one. Don't look.

We're in danger.

We've got to get out.

- What are you talking about?

- I've been called a ponce.

What f***er said that?

I called him a ponce,

and now I'm calling you one.

Ponce!

Would you like a drink?

What's your name? McFuck?

I have a heart condition.

I have a heart condition.

If you hit me, it's murder.

I'll murder the pair of yous!

My wife is having a baby.

Listen, I don't know what my...

acquaintance did to upset you,

but it's nothing to do with me.

I suggest you both go outside...

and discuss it sensibly

in the street.

Out of my way!

Speed is like

a dozen transatlantic flights...

without ever

getting off the plane.

Time change.

You lose. You gain.

Makes no difference, so long

as you keep taking the pills.

But sooner or later,

you gotta get out...

because it's crashing,

and all at once

those frozen hours...

melt through

the nervous system...

and seep out the pores.

Bastards! Just to suck...

some miserable cheap cigar,

and the bastards won't see me.

Why are we having lunch in here?

It's dinner, and Danny's here.

Danny?

How did he get in?

I let him in this morning.

He lost one of his clogs.

He's come in because

of this perpetual cold.

Oh, I hope

tobacco sales plummet.

I've got your saveloy.

Here. I don't want it.

Then stick it in a soap tray

and save it for later.

Don't vent spleen on me!

I'm in the same boat!

Stop saying that!

You're not in the same boat.

The only thing you're in that

I have been in is this f***ing bath!

Danny's here.

Headhunter to his friends.

Headhunter to everybody.

He doesn't have any friends.

The only people

he converses with...

are his clients

and occasionally the police.

The purveyor of rare herbs and

prescribed chemicals is back.

Will we never be set free?

- Danny.

- You're looking very beautiful, man.

Have you been away?

St. Peter preached the epistles

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