Wish Upon

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(SERENE MUSIC PLAYING)

Jo!

CLARE :
Mommy!

- CLARE :
Mommy!

- MOM :
Clare.

Mommy! (GIGGLES)

How far can I go?

Just down the street and back.

- You gonna visit the nest for me?

- Yes!

- (GIGGLES)

- MOM :
Okay.

Go on, big girl.

Whee! (GIGGLES)

Come on, Max.

(MAX BARKS)

Hey, I'll keep an eye on her for you.

(MAX BARKS)

CLARE :
Max! Max!

CLARE :
I win.

- (BABY BIRDS CHIRPING)

- Come on, back in.

Come on!

Come on, boy!

- (DOG BARKING)

- Max, come on!

Come on.

Mrs. Deluca they hatched!

That is so great sweetie!

CLARE :
Come on, Max!

(MOM SOBBING)

Momma?

(MAX WHINES)

(MOM SOBS)

(MAX WHINES)

Mommy?

(STAIRS CREAKING)

Momma?

(STOOL THUDS)

(SCREAMING)

(GASPING)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

(SIGH)

(SIGH)

(KEYS JINGLING)

(DOOR SLAMS)

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(SIGHS)

CLARE :
Morning!

MRS. DELUCA :
Aw, you look so nice.

- Bye!

- Bye, Mrs. Deluca.

# She moved like the ocean #

# Keepin' the rhythm, #

# The rhythm naturally #

# Hittin' every emotion #

# Oh, yeah #

# L-E-T-S-G-O #

BOY :
Oh!

Hot!

# Let's go, let's go #

BOY :
Hotter.

Yeah!

# Go get it, L-E... #

Hi, Uncle August.

- No, I'll get the paper.

- UNCLE AUGUST :
Thank you, Clare.

# Let's go, let's go #

# Go get it, get it #

(CAR APPROACHING )

(HONKING AND TIRES SKIDDING)

BOY :
Go get off the road, winner!

I'm trying to drive here!

(OTHERS LAUGH)

(CAR ACCELERATING)

(GROAN)

Ow!

Oh, gosh...

Are you alright?

Yeah, you know. It's...

it's Monday.

Here you go.

- Thanks

- Yeah.

See you around.

(CROWS CAWING)

(STUDENTS CHATTING AND LAUGHING)

(SIGHING)

DAD :
I'll check these. See if there's...

You've gotta be kidding me.

Come on!

GIRL :
Check it out.

(STUDENTS CHATTING AND LAUGHING)

CLARE :
Dad!

You serious?

What'd I do now?

You promised

that you wouldn't do this at my school.

We're not at your school.

CARL :

We're across the street from your school.

Yeah, but people can still see you.

Well, who the hell's watching?

BOY :
Yeah, her dad's a dumpster driver.

Hey, what happened there?

I fell at Uncle August's house,

he saw the whole thing.

What did I tell you

about talking to Uncle August?

You said not to. But I really don't see why.

Dad, you're killing me, okay?

Hey!

Come on, let's roll out, Shannon.

Thank you.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

# You get so excited by the prospect #

# Of a gentium way #

# So surprised by all the possibilities #

CLARE :
So...

what do you guys think?

GIRL :
So good.

- How long it take you?

- Ah, yeah, like weeks.

Clare, you try way too hard, dude.

Jesus, it's better than not trying at all.

- Will you guys help me hang it?

- GIRL :
I got you.

- (PHONE BEEPING)

- Yeah, just give me one sec.

What is she doing?

It's called Monster Mutant Slayer.

Dumbest game ever.

Hey! Don't mock

what you don't understand dude, okay?

If I kill Lurching Louisa and Hacked-Up Harry

I level up to Mutant Killer.

And if I get Malformed Molly,

I'm a Monster Mutant Master, man!

I know. Awesome? Yes.

- (CAMERA CLICK)

- BOY :
Got it.

- CLARE :
Stop!

- BOY 2 :
Sorry. Don't mind him.

My bad.

Seriously? Bird ass!

Recycle first.

(CHUCKLES)

(GIRL WHISPERING) Recycle first.

BOY 2 :
Hey, Clare.

I liked your banner.

Yeah, I liked it too.

(SPEAKING CHINESE)

(CLASS SPEAKING CHINESE)

(TEACHER SPEAKING CHINESE)

(CLASS SPEAKING CHINESE)

(CROWS CAWING)

(METALLIC RATTLING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, Carl!

Look at this!

That would fetch a ton at the swap.

I have a better idea.

(SINISTER RUMBLING)

- GIRL 1 :
Jesus, what's...

- GIRL 2 :
It's so bad.

- (CHUCKLING)

- GIRL 2 :
Put it away.

GIRL 2 :
I mean she's seriously smeggy.

Like ultimate smeggy.

- CLARE :
I know!

- What was that?

Um...

nothing. No.

Um. Mm. But you were laughing.

Which is co-signing.

BLONDE GIRL :
And we wanna know

what you were laughing about.

Go ahead.

Everyone's listening.

Okay.

GIRL :
Clare, come on.

Go Clare. Yeah, do it.

What's so funny, winner?

Yeah, what's funny...

is that you're smegma.

But like...

ultimate smegma.

(ALL LAUGHING)

What does that even mean?

- Oh, Clare. I got it.

- Well..

Thank you.

Yeah, this is great. Um...

Smegma. It's a noun.

(CLEARING THROAT)

"A malodorous, opaque,

white or yellow substance

produced by the sebaceous glands

of male and female genitalia."

It's found beneath the foreskin and glands

of the penis in males,

and in the folds of skin surrounding

the clitoris in females.

(GASPING AND LAUGHING)

Oh, I... I...

I'm so sorry. Would you like me to define

"ultimate" for you?

(LAUGHING)

CROWD :
Oooh!

Come on. Yeah.

GIRL 1 :
You got it, Clare!

GIRL :
Get up! Get up!

(COUGHING IN PAIN)

(GROANING)

(ENRAGED YELLING)

GIRL 2 :
Beat her up, Clare!

Drop her like a red-headed baby

fresh out of the vagina!

(YELLING AND SCREAMING)

Get away from her! Let her go!

Ooh!

(CROWD SHOUTING AND CHEERING)

(SHRIEKING AND GRUNTING)

(SHRIEKING)

Son of a b*tch! Get back here!

(GARBAGE DISPOSAL GRINDING)

What's in it?

It's broccoli, apple, lemon and ginger.

'Cause we don't want you to bruise.

You know what you need.

Please don't say it. Please.

A nice boy.

- You said it.

- Or a nice girl.

Come on, come on, come on.

You must like someone.

I do, but...

(SIGHING)

So what's his or her name?

Paul.

I think he said hi to me once.

Well, that's something.

In the fifth grade.

CLARE :
Hi, Max.

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