Winning London Page #4

...tossing your cookies

on that French guy. Classic!

Great. I think we've all had enough history

for today.

Riles. Come on, it was funny.

It was funny.

You had him alone sharing a straw.

You should've made a move.

He remembers me

as the girl who barfed at the Dodger game.

- Look, Riley. Are you here to play?

- No.

I'm here to win.

Good. Then quit acting like his little sister

and go for it.

Westminster Abbey.

This famous church is the burial place

for most of England's monarchs...

Every king and queen has been crowned

here since the year 1066.

Look at all the famous people buried here.

How do you score some plottage

in a place like this anyway?

You achieve greatness and die.

So you can pretty much forget about it.

Well, aren't we Miss Westminster Crabby.

- Right. Where to, loves?

- Buckingham Palace, please.

- And step on it.

- Right.

Anywhere there's a restroom.

Here, just don't jimmy-riddle

in the back of me jam jar.

I wish I could speak Cockney.

That's Clarence House over there.

That's where the dear old

Queen Mum lives. God bless her.

Poor old royal family.

They've had their troubles in the past.

I love the old Queen Mum

just as much as I love me old Mum.

I'll tell you something else.

I love me Mum

as much as if she was the Queen herself.

All right, next stop Buckingham Palace.

These four, young, intelligent individuals

are going to attempt the impossible...

They say it can never be done.

They say it never will be done

but we are here to prove them wrong.

We're here to make

the Queen's Guard laugh.

Riley, take it away.

What do you call a piece of wood

with nothing to do? Bored.

I thought he could relate.

What do you get

hanging from mango trees?

Sore arms.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, ''Why the long face? ''

How do you get a tissue to dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

What kind of animal

do you never play cards with?

A cheetah.

- I took my wife to the Caribbean.

- Jamaica.

No. She wanted to go.

- What's the capital of Alaska?

- Juneau?

No, I'm asking you.

Why did the coach go to the bank?

To get his quarter back.

If you throw a cat out the car window,

what do you get?

Kitty litter.

What do Winnie the Pooh

and Jack the Ripper have in common?

- What?

- Same middle name.

Not bad, young lady.

What did you say?

I told him to keep his mince pies

on the frog and toad.

Right. Thanks for clarifying.

... against the Maastricht Treaty...

... seeks to transfer powers

of our Parliament.

Only the people can decide that issue.

Look at that.

No one is given a mandate

by the British people.

To sell their heritage.

If noble lords can explain clearly,

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