Wild Cherry

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So, this is my senior

year of high school.

I've spent the last four years with a

bunch of horny football players and, uh

sex-obsessed teenagers.

So I figured I'd find out

what the big deal was.

I was 19.

I was 17.

Seventeen.

I think I was 16.

Fourteen.

Ah, we went for about 45

minutes the first go, yeah.

Um, not very long.

About threes minutes, actually.

I was so damn scared I put my condom

on before I took off my pants.

It wasn't that great, honestly.

It was kinda embarrassing and we

didn't know what parts went in where.

And unfortunately it was the

worst experience of my life.

It lasted three seconds, there was no

magic, and his mother walked in on us.

We were on a bed and we

were making out and stuff.

Then she went down, came

up, and then I looked up

and she turned around and there was

a room full of people watching us.

She grabbed her vodka, she screamed,

and she bolted out the door.

Last time I ever talked to her.

So wait a second, did

you actually make love to her?

Yeah. Well, I made

love to her face.

I think I made it into this big

thing and then I was disappointed

because it wasn't what I

thought it was going to be.

Well, my first time's gonna

be with Stanford, of course.

It's gonna be really romantic.

We'll light candles and we'll

play some French music

and he'll pick me up

and carry me to the bed

and we'll just like,

fall into each other

and have the most

amazing connection.

Like, be in total

sync with one another.

Ow! Franklin?

Will you watch it?

Yeah, sorry.

Helen, you okay?

I'm fine.

All right.

Look, he wants you. Screw the speculative

romance crap and just do it already.

Chase! I just don't think you

should rush into anything.

I mean, it's your first time, it should

be special, you know. Like, plan it out.

I know, but...

What's there to plan?

Condoms, lube, room.

I meant be emotionally prepared

so you don't regret anything.

I am. I think.

Look, everyone's first time sucks.

That's why next party I go to

I'm finding the hottest, drunkest guy

I can and just getting it over with.

I'm gonna be in

New York next year.

That is such a

slut-bag thing to do.

Exactly.

Look, all I'm saying is

you should just do it.

Why?

That's why.

It's good.

They're just friends.

Yeah, you know, I stretch with my

friends like that all the time.

Whatever.

Let's hit

those dummies, boys!

I hear she likes it

rough, Frankie boy.

Skeets, let's leave

the doll playing for home.

C'mon.

Ah, you sexy beast.

Freak.

She's all yours, buddy.

Wait, wait.

Ah, right.

We should plan this better.

Okay, yes, let's, uh,

let's plan away then.

Well, Saturday my dad's

finally out of the house.

Saturday? Okay, yeah.

Saturday's good.

Saturday. Done.

Okay.

Okay. I gotta

go, all right?

Hey, I heard Hannah doesn't

shower after practice.

You mean cheerleader Hannah?

Yeah.

She's nice

but she probably wears the same

underwear for like a week straight.

I just thought you should know.

Well, I don't know, you guys were just

pretty close when stretching earlier.

Oh, babe, come on. We're just...

we're just friends. You know that.

Yeah, okay.

All right.

I gotta go.

- Okay.

- All right.

Bye, babe.

Bye.

Bye, Dad.

I'm off to Chase's.

Hey, could you come

in here for a second?

I was gonna kiss you goodbye.

Oh, my God. Dad?

Look, as your parent

I feel it's my responsibility to at

least discuss this stuff with you.

Dad, I'm almost 18.

I don't need to hear this from you.

This is a female contraceptive.

It goes, um, in.

My God.

It's got no

hormonal side effects.

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