Wilby Wonderful Page #4

where you came from

you can remember

what you wanted.

Oh yeah?

So what do you think,

your grandfather

just climbed up those rocks there,

stuck a flag in the ground?

- It was my great-grandfather.

- Those were the days, huh?

Explorers and settlers and all that.

And now what?

It's too bad it couldn't

come to something.

- Come to something how?

- All this beautiful land

just sitting here empty

like this.

This is the only piece of coast

that hasn't been developed.

That's what I mean,

it's a shame.

Going to lunch.

Here comes one of the

queers from the watch.

Irene!

- I'll have a

- Double double?

Yeah.

No wonder his wife took off back

where they came from. Who wouldn't?

Irene, shut up.

Forget it.

We'll be seeing

who's shutting up

when the paper

comes out next week.

What are we supposed to

be looking for anyway?

- Evidence.

- Evidence of what?

- Wrongdoings.

- Oh, right.

They're making a circus

out of nothing.

I think it's only

gonna get worse.

- What is?

- Oh my, looky-looky.

What was I just saying?

Look at this, buddy.

What?

Drug paraphernalia.

Who put that there?

- The drug addicts.

- What drug addicts?

The only drug addicts in Wilby

are the ones who buy it in a

bottle at the "loyalist."

Obviously they're bringing

the drug addicts in.

Who's bringing

the drug addicts in?

- Them. The bad people.

- Oh yeah?

Now they've set up their

headquarters here at the watch.

It is a cancer on the face of

Wilby and must be ecradiated.

- What?

- You know, got rid of.

Right. Well, keep looking.

No, no, wait. You stay here.

I'll have a look.

All right. Right on then, buddy.

WLBR Island Radio

Carol French real estate.

Deena, do you have a number

for Walter MacDonald?

- Who?

- Walter MacDonald, the workman.

Oh, "duck," the painter.

Yeah, yeah, he's a real Picasso.

Everybody calls him

"duck" ever since high school.

Because when he was little, he was really

short, but nobody calls him Walter.

They'll be calling him unemployed

when I get through with him.

- Uh-oh, how come?

- Just get me a number for him.

I'm gonna need you

to do something else.

You're gonna need a piece

of paper and a pencil.

- You got it? Okay.

- Mm-hmm.

- Get the town council on the phone.

- Now?

No, once I've explained

what you have to do.

- Do you wanna hear about the flowers?

- Not right now.

- Paper and pen?

- Oh

Get the town council on the

phone, someone with a title,

and tell them there's a

problem with the banners,

and they won't be

ready for two weeks.

For two weeks, that's easy.

Then wait 10 minutes

and call back.

- Uh-huh.

- Tell them to disregard the first message,

that everything's gonna be fine,

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