Why Him? Page #5

- Mmm-hmm.

I teach a couple of classes

at a local community college.

Don't be so modest, mom.

You're an amazing photographer.

Oh, that looks like

a real dead moose.

Well, that's exactly

what it is, Ned.

A dead moose

suspended in its own urine.

It's meant to symbolize the way

that our culture

has imprisoned our minds.

Oh.

I got to tell you, Ned,

great art really

gets me aroused.

It's actually

a very strong aphrodisiac.

Laird.

Not that you need any help getting

turned on by that gorgeous woman.

Honey.

What? Your mom

is beautiful.

She is. She deserves

some props for that.

Well, I'll take a compliment

wherever I can get one.

Well, here's another one.

You got a bangin' bod, too.

All right.

Hey, what's going on, everyone?

Richard Blais, everybody.

This is the maestro

of molecular gastronomy.

Oh, my god.

That's that cute one

from top chef.

Oh, he's the one

who goes, "bam!"

No, that's Emeril.

He's a f***ing dick, that guy.

Dickie Blais what's up?

Yeah, so laird thought it would be a

fun idea to do a pop-up restaurant

just in your honor tonight.

Did he?

Yeah.

And I have here

a little amuse-bouche.

So if anyone's looking for

a little pre-dinner snack,

you can head on up here.

Count me in,

'cause I'm famished.

All right.

There are so many surprises.

I know.

You're hungry, you've come

to the right place.

I've got surf and turf for you.

Steak and lobster.

Yum, yum.

My version of surf and turf,

edible soil and plankton foam.

Dig in.

Oh.

Wow, can't wait for dinner.

No.

Hey, so I think

it's going great, right?

I think they've already

accepted me.

I'm getting a little bit

of a different vibe.

Oh, really?

Like what?

Don't try so hard.

I'm not, what do you mean?

You put in a bowling alley

for my dad

and you got a tattoo of my

entire family on your back.

Oh.

Was the tattoo too much?

Yes.

F***.

Sh*t, I knew it.

Yeah, Gustav said

the same thing.

Okay, don't worry...

I won't get any more tattoos

of them while they're here.

Thank you.

Okay.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Okay.

Oh, one more thing, stop

calling them motherfuckers

and talking about

how hot my mom is.

Well, she's sneaky sexy,

took me by surprise.

Dude, she is a MILF,

like a genuine MILF.

And if it wasn't your MILF,

she'd be a MIWF...

A mother I would f***.

Mmm-mmm.

But I won't.

Okay.

Of course.

Thank you.

All right, it's pretty.

Yeah.

You know...

It's a lot.

Yes! I mean, the moose...

Yes.

And the language.

Come on!

Mmm-hmm.

A real moose!

And he's coming onto your mother.

That's not okay.

And the tattoo?

The tattoo! And how...

Oh, my. And you're...

Yes!

You didn't like the mural

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