Who Is Alice? Page #5

identification in general.

- Then why'd you bring up Chelsea?

- Because I just read it in the paper,

and it seemed like a good example.

Okay, which club do you support?

- West Ham.

- You're used to losing a lot then.

- What?

- Okay, you don't need

to take it personally.

- This is personal.

- Hey, just relax.

- Hey, we're talking

about enlightenment here.

- We're all just one, aren't we?

It's just all about finding

out who you really are.

You see, it's so simple.

If I just cut of both your arms

and both your legs.

- It's like, when you were hit,

I could feel it.

Although, no one was hit.

Because there is no I.

- Yeah, not anymore.

Would you like a coffee?

- Cut.

- Tom.

- I need a bit more sexual attraction,

none of this wet fish stuff.

- He is a wet fish, read the script.

Who writes this stuff anyway?

Okay, watch and learn,

this is a pick up line.

- Are you from heaven?

Because every time I look in those

eyes all I see is an angel.

- Yeah that's because you are a sleazebag.

- Tommy, I am taking a break.

Can I make you a coffee?

- Yes please.

- Americano, latte, cappuccino, espresso?

- Espresso please.

- Espresso okay.

- Look, I have been a fan

of yours for many years.

- Single or double espresso?

- Single.

I watched all the episodes

of Don't be a Dick.

It really is an honor to be part of it.

- Well, we had to make

some changes, didn't we?

We got ourselves a very nice new hot lady

and then they added the

spiritual stuff as well.

- Yeah, I love it.

- And now it's all we

have lost God and hope,

what's the meaning of life?

It's all a crock of bullshit

as far as I'm concerned.

But you know, you go with what works in

the moment until the next fad.

- Yeah, right.

- Nina.

- Alice.

- Thank you so much.

- You're welcome.

- So, you've got any

more projects coming up?

- I just wrapped on Red Rocks,

so for a nice change I get to concentrate

on Don't be a Dick.

- Red Rocks, that was with,

oh God what was her name?

- Lucy Anderson.

- I read in the tabloids that she

is putting her acting career on hold.

- Yeah, little Lucy.

She says it's because she wants

to become a mother.

But basically unfortunately

it's that lame excuse.

She is basically just too old.

Let me give you some advice.

You need to look at your career

like a soccer player does.

You've got till maybe

somewhere in your thirties,

the odd one or two will

make it until they're forty.

And then they go into teaching

or production or something.

Listen, that is a hard truth I know.

But I'm the good guy here,

I tell it how it is instead

of pretending it doesn't happen right.

It is more graceful to go out

on your own terms then

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