Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Page #4

The Russians are blacks now.

If we fix the well, you can't blow it up.

Kim, I was talking to some

of the younger men.

They say the Taliban came at night.

I don't care. No. I drank

too much water and I have to pee.

Stop. Stop. I am engaged to be married.

Okay, Fahim,

I know you like your women to be, like,

beautiful, mysterious IKEA bags, okay?

But we urinate, Doctor.

Out of our vaginas.

You think you urinate out the...

No. I know it's a separate thing!

God! Just please help me.

There is nowhere for you to go.

I cannot ask these men about this.

And I'm not allowed to talk to the women.

Fine. Forget it. I'll hold it.

Women are tough, right?

Are you okay, ma'am?

Gosh, damn it, man. This is a new one.

I was cursing your name at 0-stupid-30,

but I'm glad I came out today.

Would you not have gone

on patrol today if I weren't here?

No, I'd be back in Norton filling HESCOs.

Copy that.

We're still 5 mikes.

It must be one hairy dump.

No, I'm just getting my pants on.

Damn it, Sergeant Hurd.

Whatever.

- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

- Marine!

Make a hole, Baker.

Move out!

Why are we stopping?

The lead vehicle bottomed out.

Okay! Heads on a swivel!

Didn't we come this way?

We most surely did.

- Contact left!

- Stay in the vehicle!

Sh*t! Hot! Hot bullet things!

Kim, don't get out of the car! Kim!

Get down behind the engine block!

Stay there! Stay there!

Kim.

Get back in the car!

No, please, Kim!

Ma'am, I asked you to stay put!

Those a**holes tried to shoot us!

Jesus!

You have got to be shitting me!

You just shot a Javelin at a f***ing car!

That's an $80,000 piece of ordnance!

Can any of you geniuses

tell me the Kelley Blue Book value

of a 1989 Toyota pickup?

Oorah, Baker. Get some.

I hope you got all that on film, ma'am.

'Cause that right there,

that's what we do best.

Hearts and minds.

That's the two best places

to shoot somebody.

What?

I told you to stay in the car.

Okay, I'll get back in the car.

The Marines don't have

much to say about Iraq.

Their mantra is that they are

focused on doing the job here.

And even though, as we saw firsthand,

attacks against coalition forces are up,

Corporal Coughlin told me earlier

that he is still not planning

to lock and load his weapon

when he is out on patrol.

Our own Kim Baker reporting for us live.

Welcome!

Wow, good job, Kim! Ruthless!

B*tch, we are going out tonight!

It's okay. It's okay. Here.

It's okay. It's all right.

Why don't I know who you are?

You're what, like, 42?

Sold.

Why have I never heard of you?

Yeah, I haven't done

a lot of overseas reporting.

I've done mostly domestic reportage.

"Reportage"?

Domestic reportage.

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