What If... Page #5

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Okay, let's go.

Ha!

... I drive a minivan.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Hmm, convenient.

That saved a Wretch like me.

I once Was lost.

It's a little far forward,

don't you think?

Cut it out, Ben.

I haven't seen

this place in years.

Sure could use an upgrade.

It's probably got the same

gum underneath the seats.

Reverend, it's already time.

They're ready for you noW.

Reverend?

Reverend?

This is a very exciting day

for the little, White church,

so please join me in

giving a Warm Welcome

to our new pastor,

Reverend Dr. Benjamin Walker.

Okay.

Uh, hi, it's a... it's good

to see you all here.

Some of you are

With your families.

I'm With my family as Well.

Wendy there with Megan

and my other daughter

Whose name escapes me

at the moment.

Oh, you know I

got my Bible here.

Yup, it's... you're probably

expecting me to read from

the Bible, right, 'cause that's

What a lot of preachers do.

You know,

I'm a little different.

You know, I... I...

The Bible's old.

It's really old.

So I think it'd be good to talk

about some modern things.

You know, 'cause things,

things are important,

and We all need certain things.

And God, he Wants us to have

What We need, right?

Noah, look, there's Noah.

He had an ark.

Noah had an ark.

And Well, he couldn't have

afforded to build

the ark Without money.

You know, so God obviously

wants us to have money.

And God wants us to be happy.

So, so...

...try to make more money,

so you can buy things,

and then you'll be happy.

God bless you.

Oh, um...

Uh, that Was our

message for today.

Make more money?

Are you out of your mind?

I Was, you know,

completely unprepared.

But you had 3 Weeks

to learn that sermon,

Which I might add, only lasted

less than a minute.

The collection Was down

about 70% from last Week

When We had a prayer service

Without a minister.

Oh, that not using the Bible

thing, that Was different.

Well, you know,

it's important to keep it fresh.

Yup.

Uh-oh.

You should be

ashamed of yourself.

If Pastor McKennett

Wasn't already gone,

that sermon Would

have killed him.

Personally, I thought

it Was great.

No Wasted time.

Right to the point.

Things are good,

make more money.

It Works for me.

See you next Week, Reverend.

Don't count on it.

Hey, you know, I'd really

prefer to get to know

his parents a little bit more

before they get too close.

I'll take care of this.

I got it.

I didn't know you

Went to this church.

I didn't know

the new pastor Was your dad.

His sermon Was...

Oh, I know

he can be such...

Can you give us a moment?

What do you care?

After all, I'm just the daughter

Whose name escapes you

at the moment, right?

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