Weirdsville Page #3

You mean in junior high?

Yeah, me and my brother.

We won 50 bucks

and an Atari.

That's impressive.

I didn't see your

college drop-out ass

on Quiz Time, did I?

No, you-- No, no.

No, you didn't.

Hang on a sec?

Hurry up, man.

Here.

Right here.

Notwithstanding your triumph

on Quiz Time 300 years ago,

I still think

the drugs are starting

to make you stupid.

I'm sorry,

not stupid... slow.

What are you

lecturing me for?

Remember last year?

You wrote to Tetley

to pitch the idea

of Ciga-tea?

Yeah, man,

tea with nicotine in it.

That's--

That's brilliant.

Your product sample

was a tea bag

filled with pipe tobacco.

Premium tobacco, baby.

Well, what about the time

you wrote to Kraft

with a proposal

for sprayable mayonnaise?

Sprayonaise.

I rest my case.

Todd.

I know you speak English,

but do you understand English?

Yeah.

Perhaps I wasn't clear

on how you should dress.

You basically said

I gotta dress

like my old man.

Okay.

Appearance is a very important

part of our code.

Never forget that.

I didn't know the code.

Shh...

Shh, I told you the code.

I'm going to let it pass

this time, but next time...

Okay.

Wow.

Follow me, children.

Goa-ta-se.

It's "Goatse, " man.

Who can't read now?

Keep digging, man.

Whenever they find a body,

the paper says they found it

in a shallow grave.

We've gotta

make this deep.

No.

I can't, man.

This is not some dead body.

It's Mattie.

You want to go to jail?

I don't want to go to jail.

Matilda doesn't want us

to go to jail!

She deserves

better than this.

I'm going to the can.

F***ing bullshit.

What's the cup for?

It's a goblet.

And you'll see.

Let us begin.

Todd Kranshaw,

are you willing

to renounce all loyalty

to God and Jesus Christ?

Yeah, man.

Do you swear allegiance

to the Prince of Darkness?

I do.

It's "I swear", Todd,

not "I do. "

You're not getting married.

I swear!

Nice.

Okay.

You can kneel down now, Todd.

I'm going to go

warm up the car.

We've gotta take her

to the hospital, man.

We're not going to bury her

like she never existed.

F***.

--as your story unfolds

From your eyes to mine

I can see

A blue wave run

And blue heat

from your heart

Like nothing in the sun

Okay.

I call upon

the darkest of angels

to anoint the blood

of our new brother

and reveal to him

the unholy covenant

of our Lord Lucifer!

Hey, what are you doing?

Let me go!

Let me go!

What the f***

are you guys doing?

Throw me the key!

It's just

an amateur theatrical!

Ugh!

Which key is it?

The gold one.

Hey!

We gotta get outta here.

Someone's upstairs.

Come on, we gotta go.

Sh*t! Is there another

way out of here?

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