Wedding Crashers

Synopsis: Two friends, John (played by Owen Wilson) and Jeremy (Vince Vaughn), crash weddings to pick up women. One day they crash the wedding of the daughter of the Treasury Secretary, Secretary Cleary (Christopher Walken). Instead of short-term flings they end up being invited to the Clearys' island estate, and potentially meet the loves of their lives...
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): David Dobkin
Production: New Line Cinema
  11 wins & 11 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.0
Metacritic:
64
Rotten Tomatoes:
76%
R
Year:
2005
119 min
$209,218,368
Website
103 Views

- I don't have custody of the kids.

- Yeah.

- You know what?

- I don't get custody.

It is an insane pathetic joke,

what I've had to go through.

Right now, right now she doesn't know

where the kids are, do you?

- Do not talk about me as a mother.

- Are they at home?

I'm so sick to death of you talking about

me as a mother

- and what I've done wrong!

- They at your sister's? Where...

they're probably at a firehouse

somewhere. She'd just drop 'em off

- with a fireman, you know?

- Do not talk about that!

I am sick of you accusing me

of not being a good mother!

- Are they at home? Are they at home?

- Seven years I've been a good mother!

A perfect mother?

I can't have custody.

Just remember when we went out.

Just remember how you...

Right now. Where is Tim

right f*cking now?

Don't you talk about me

being a mother. I hate you!

Hey, I got an idea.

Why don't you just kiss my left nut?

- I told you this was a bad idea.

- You know what, Ken?

A bad idea would be to let your client

walk outta here today and drag

this thing out for another year, wasting

more time and wasting more money.

The only good idea is to let

me and John do our job

- and mediate this thing right here.

- You wanna hear the crazy thing?

I know it doesn't feel like it,

but we're making progress.

- Mm-hmm.

- We settled the deal with the cars.

Let's see, that takes us

to frequent flyer miles. We're flying!

- Those are mine.

- I want them.

You know what we're gonna do? We're

gonna split 'em right down the middle.

- How'd that be, Mr. Kroger?

- It would be no-not good at all!

- I earned those miles!

- Yeah, you earned them flying

- to Denver to meet your whore.

- Oh, Lord.

Well, she's not afraid

to express herself sexually

- if that's what you mean.

- She's a stripper, for God's sake!

- She is not!

- Her name is Chastity!

She is white trash!

Same as you.

Hillbilly!

That's it,

go comatose for me, baby.

You shut your mouth when

you're talkin' to me!

Hold it. This is getting confusing.

You didn't always hate each other.

There had to be some nice moments,

during the courtship, maybe?

- Or the wedding?

- The wedding had to be fun!

- You have your families together.

- You have your decorations.

Families coming together.

That's a nice moment.

- What'd you have to eat?

- Crab cakes.

- Are you kidding me? Crab c...

how could you not have a good time

- eating crab cakes? I love 'em.

- Crab cakes, I love crab cakes.

- They're phenomenal.

- And did you have a band?

- Did you have a band? Good or bad?

- Yeah.

Who gives a shit? It's a great band,

it's a bad band, it's like pizza, baby.

- It's good no matter what.

- That's true. You got them...

- There's music in the air!

...playing "Shout" and you hate it.

- Yeah. Oh-oh-oh-oh-hey

- A little bit softer now

- Oh-oh-oh-oh, hey

- Shout now, jump up and shout now.

It's a good time,

do you know what I mean?

- Yeah.

- Rubbin' up against each other,

just a couple of kids who like to f*ck,

trying to make it honest. I get it.

Guys, the real enemy here is

the institution of marriage.

It's not realistic, it's crazy!

Hey, don't do this

for the other person.

It's about saying yes to yourself

- and saying yes to your future.

- Say yes.

And have some opportunities for

yourself. I'm sure you'd love

to be free, maybe go out and meet

some Latin guy that can dance,

grind up on you, make you

feel dangerous but also safe.

And how about you? Don't you want

to get inside Chastity

without having to wonder

if everyone's gonna find out?

- God, wouldn't that be sweet?

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Steve Faber

Steve Faber is a screenwriter best known for his work in the movie Wedding Crashers. Faber is writing and executive producing a film for writer/director James L. Brooks, as well as adapting the screen version of journalist A. J. Liebling's Telephone Booth Indians. Faber is currently prepping a short film he will write and direct called What's in a Name?. He is also working on an original screenplay entitled The Way We Do. In August 2013, New Line released the Faber-scripted film We're the Millers, with Jennifer Aniston and Jason Sudeikis. Faber also writes poetry and illustrates said poems. Two of Faber's works will be exhibited in Antwerp, Belgium June 1–7. Faber has a satiric column on The Huffington Post called "Washingwood." Faber currently resides in Los Angeles. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Wedding Crashers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 20 Nov. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/wedding_crashers_23183>.

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