We Love You

Synopsis: Best friends Ford and Noah both fall for Callie, potentially spelling the end of their friendship. But then the besties come up with an idea that Callie just might be cool enough to date both of them at the same time.
Genre: Comedy
77 min

Life is a rolling ocean

If you want to stay

in motion

You gotta get,

you gotta get

You gotta get

ahead of the wave

Young love's never humble

Everybody takes a tumble

Better get, you better get

You better get

your head on straight

Hear that rolling ocean

Better get ahead

You know

that wave is comin'

Better get ahead

If you want to catch

the big fish

And take him to cherish

You gotta get,

you gotta get

You got to get

ahead of the wave

Hear that rolling ocean

You better get ahead

You know that wave

is coming

Better get ahead


325, 326, 327...


32... 32... 329.


Watching you guys

play badminton

makes me profoundly sad.

We weren't

playing badminton, Glenn.

We were playing goodminton.

The point is to hit it

as soft as possible

to get as many in a row

as we can.

It's a game of

gentlemanly cooperation.

I'll bet you two learned

a lot

about gentlemanly cooperation

in your bed,

where you have sex.

No one likes

a homophobe, Glenn.

And no one likes

you two assholes.

You kiss your mother

with that filthy mouth?

You kiss your boyfriend

with those ugly lips?

As a matter of fact...

In your fricking face.

Whoa, you can't talk

to the kid like that.

That's not a kid.

That's Glenn.

He's a dick.

- Screw you.

- Okay!

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on.

- Screw you, fighter baby.

- Glenn, go... go home.

You're lucky.

You're lucky.

Hey, come on.

We're gonna be late

for our double date.


To be clear, no,

he doesn't really kiss me

with those ugly lips,

because we're into girls...

specifically these two

extremely attractive girls

that are meeting us right now.

This seaside pub

is rustic yet hip,

this is my favorite shirt,

and I'm having

a pretty decent hair day.

Yup, it's a good day

for capital-L love.

Ford over here

is more interested in, well,

the kind of love

you don't have to call again.

Now, despite all odds, we are

crushing this first date.

I could imagine just

staying in on a Saturday night

and watching

dry British comedies

and, you know, streaming,

and it's like I kind of

fantasize about, like,

cuddling you, you know?

Ooh, that sounded way better

in my head.

Maybe they didn't hear me.

Ah, I just blew it for us.

Oh, my gosh.

I should go.

This is gonna be too awkward

for me to handle.

Yeah, I'm gonna come

with you, actually.

- What?

- What?

You're not gonna

leave a tip

or at least pay

for your drink?


You know what, Noah?

I don't even think she was the one.

Yeah, mine neither.

Definitely not the one.

Why both our names? It should just be

your name. You're the painter.

Yeah, but it was our idea.

Yeah, but you're

actually talented.

You shouldn't even be

working here.

You know what? You could be

a millionaire painter,

like... like Picasso

or even Banksy.

Yeah, I'll get

right on that.

The guys need to see this.

It's a great painting.

I mean, for a fisting

bro spray.

Last week, I was painting a top

hat on a condom, and now this.

Maybe I ought to just,

like, you know,

quit my job,

be, like, a real artist.

I don't know.

Do you like food and shelter?

I do.

I love those things.

I literally need them

every day.

- All the time.

- Really?



A scathing satire

of the homoerotic world

of faux masculinity

and fraternal life,

an American cover-up

hoisted upon young men

to capably deny their desire

for the fist.

How's the website looking,



is up and running.

Pound the fist,

feel the mist.

The bro community's

gonna love that.

I agree.

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Alan Yang

Alan Michael Yang (born August 22, 1983) is an American screenwriter, producer and actor. He was a writer and producer for the NBC sitcom Parks and Recreation, for which he received his first Emmy nomination. With Aziz Ansari, Yang co-created the Netflix series Master of None, which premiered in 2015 to critical acclaim. The series was awarded a Peabody Award, and at the 68th Emmy Awards in 2016, Yang and Ansari won for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series for Master of None, which was also nominated in the Outstanding Comedy Series category. Yang also was the screenwriter of the 2014 comedy Date and Switch. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "We Love You" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 19 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/we_love_you_23161>.

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