Walk of Fame Page #2

contact lenses.

Because they irritate your eyes?

No, I don't need them.

You just hold on right there.

We're not done yet.

How many fingers

am I holding up?

One.

One and three halves.

That equals two and a half.

I'm afraid

you do need visual aids.

I didn't think

half fingers counted.

Just like you didn't think

a physical description

would be necessary

to apprehend the criminal.

Hey, officers, this is about me.

So while this citizen

was happily complacent,

were you able

to secure any details?

Yes, and I already told you

he had a black face.

Mask, goddamn it!

- Hey, you shut your mouth!

- It was a mask.

You wanna get tased?

Just get the hell out of here.

Thank you, officer.

You know what?

My work is done here.

To make it official, ma'am,

please fill out that form

and mail it

to the address below.

That's it? She just mails it

and then just waits?

Affirmative.

Or you can do it for her

if you're not just

still standing here.

Really?

Hope you have a better

rest of your day, ma'am.

Ready, rookie?

I get fired for naked pictures

and humped by a dog in a mask.

That's normal, right?

Naked pictures?

Now I'm late for class.

Just keeps getting better.

For the naked pictures or...

You know what? Forget about it.

Forget about this too.

Really? I could fill this out

for you and totally call you.

No. Just pretend you got good

Karma coming your way, right?

Right.

"Evan Polus.

Starmaker academy."

Evan, hi! This is Sara!

I did it!

I walked in the room

and killed it.

See ya soon, or should I say,

"you'll see me soon."

Evan, Mr. Polus, it's al.

I just had my final callback on

that boxing film. They want me!

I used all your techniques,

and I killed. You're a genius.

I'm gonna blow this town away.

Whoo!

Darren Hughes here

from Mulholland productions.

Just had two more of your

people drop by my office.

Listen, I haven't seen talent

like that since,

well, let's be honest, ever.

See, if I had a beer for

every one of these messages,

this entire room

would be foaming

in the suds of drunkenness.

Now, you people sit here longing

to be intoxicated by stardom.

How the hell are you

gonna make it

like these people on my machine?

Well, folks, it's simple.

You're gonna do exactly

what I tell you to do.

Now, you want to get smart and

do your own thing, all right.

But please, don't come

running back to daddy

after you've been

chewed up and spat out

onto the urine-filled streets.

I'm the only person in this town

who can take you

right to the top, baby.

Now, the sooner you realize

how lucky you are

to be here under my tutelage,

the sooner you people

will be shining brighter

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