Wake Up, Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie Page #3

and jacking banks.

But now it was time

to state ''the message''

or lose his hold on this band

of dropouts and outsiders.

The TV! That's right!

The TV!

This... this propaganda box,

if we don't control

this propaganda box...

the man... will always

control our minds

and the minds--

the minds of the people.

Just look at some

of the lies they're telling.

Oh, hello.

I'm beloved anchor

Ron Burgundy.

You know, lately I'm hearing

all this talk about kids

smoking pot, or marijuana--

reefer.

Hey, what's the deal with that?

What happened to just getting high

on good old clean life?

Maybe enjoying life

looking at a rainbow,

or sitting underneath a waterfall,

enjoying a big glass of Scotch,

or enjoying a pack of cigarettes

on a hot summer day.

What happened to those

simple pleasures?

Did they die with the dinosaurs

and the Tyrannus rex?

In my book, they didn't.

And there's only one book--

that's the Bible.

So, give it a read

when you got a chance.

Hey, last time I checked,

Bibles were in libraries.

Hey, good night.

The following has been

a public service announcement--

Listen to this sh*t!

That Ron Burgundy is the devil.

We gotta take back

the airwaves!

Yo, I'm telling you, Ron Burgundy

don't even know the hell awaitin' him.

But he sure is handsome.

Frame up two.

Give me a tighter one on two.

Good evening,

I'm Ron Burgundy.

Here's what's going on

in your world tonight, San Diego.

The group

of bank-robbing radicals

who call themselves

The Alarm Clock

have struck yet again.

Let's go to Brian Fantana

who's live on the scene

with a Channel 4 News exclusive.

Brian?

Police are still baffled by this string

of politically-motivated robberies.

They have little evidence,

and few leads.

- All they can do now is sit and wait--

- What is that stench?!

Smells like a biker threw up

on a pile of rotten shrimp.

Hey, jag-off, why don't you

keep it down? I'm on TV.

Back to you, Ron.

Which proves yet again

that even a blind man

and his pet

Japanese devil owl

can find true happiness

in this world we live in.

Let me take a moment here...

just to collect...

A story like that makes this job

hard and great all at the same time.

A lot of emotion right now.

A lot of emotion.

Well...

that's gonna do it

for all of us here at Channel 4 News--

God, I'm still shook up.

Still shook up.

That's gonna do it

for all of us here at Channel 4 News.

I'm Ron Burgundy.

You stay classy, San Diego.

What's that?

Just a little song I heard,

made me think of a special lady

that I happen to be

driving with right now.

Ron, it's making me very nervous

that you're not looking at the road.

Don't worry.

I know these streets

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