Waiting For Guffman

First of all,

i want to thank

everybody for coming.

Giving up your lunch hours

and all that.

And, lord knows,

very exciting for all of us.

Happy to be here.

Oh, me, too.

Absolutely. And let's just

get our hands right into it.

Who wants to start us off?

I'll be

happy to start.

You know what? Gwen,

why don't you start us off?

Ok. Sure...

you don't need

the pointer here, do you?

No. I don't need

the pointer. Thanks.

I'll just hold on

to it, then.

Oh, she's fine. Gwen?

There is

a concern that i have

that i think

needs addressing

is that we can't have

the port-a-potties

too far off

the main route,

because we do have

a lot of seniors.

Uh, we've solved that.

We're gonna take

the port-a-potties

and put 'em

right over here.

They're not gonna

be in the way.

We're gonna

put a receptacle

over near

arts and crafts.

This is the big bins

you're talking about?

We've got barrels, too.

And we're gonna put

the barrels on every corner.

Wait a minute.

That's... that's the crate?

That's the big

barrel, 'cause you got

the pie-eating going on

right over here.

It's more of a dumpster

than a barrel.

That's another thing.

If anything happens

like last year

with that pie-eating...

which brings me

to a point... security.

Oh, god.

Security. I say

we put a rifle on here,

a man with a rifle here,

and a rifle here.

Protect the whole square.

Is that really

necessary?

Yes. Remember how much

we got egged last year?

Absolutely.

What can i tell you?

We're pleased as punch.

We... we are so proud.

We know that

whatever we do here

is a first for blaine

and a first for missouri,

that whatever we do

is going to be the standard

against which all other

sesquicentennials...

that's the 150...

will be judged.

The people of blaine

are can-do people.

In fact, you know, there's

an old saying in missouri

if you don't like the weather,

just wait 5 minutes.

In blaine, i honestly

believe with hard work,

we can get that down

to 3 or 4 minutes.

Here in our

sesquicentennial year,

we've got a lot

to talk about.

There's a lot

to be proud of.

And we're very proud

of it,

and i think it's about time

that the world

knows more about blaine.

We're chomping at the bit,

certainly from this end,

to get it out there.

It all started

with blaine fabin.

He was hired by 30 settlers

to lead a wagon-train expedition

from philadelphia to california.

Uh, on the 14th night,

word has it they were

sitting around the campfire,

and blaine said,

"do you smell it?

Do you smell the salt

in the air?"

He said, "we're here.

I brought you to california."

And so there was

a big party that night.

And the next morning,

they got up. Uh...

they didn't see the ocean

because they were in missouri.

Uh, blaine was able to convince

them for a little while

that it was just low tide

and things,

but what had happened was

that he had made some mistakes.

Bad weather. Wasrt familiar,

perhaps, with the proper route.

But as it turns out,

everybody was quite happy

to be where they were.

So they said, "it's ok we didn't

make it to california.

We'll stay here."

And that's why

i'm at this desk.

Well, i'm very proud to say

that i'm a direct descendant

of blaine fabin.

I've lived here all my life.

As did my parents

and their parents

and their parents

and their parents

and so on and so forth.

I'm very excited about

the show coming up,

because it'll be

the first time

i'll have the experience

of sitting in the audience

and seeing actors portray

my ancestor...

the... the actual

blaine fabin.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)