Waiting...

Ha, ha, ha.

Home sweet home.

Thanks, Cochise.

No, you f***ing idiot! I've worked

at a restaurant my whole life.

Sh*t! It gonna be

that kind of a party,

I'm gonna stick my dick

in the mashed potatoes!

- Guess who. Hi, Dean. It's Mom.

- Ah, sh*t.

I know you're not gonna

forget lunch with me,

but I thought I'd call

just to make sure.

Oh, hey.

I forgot you were here.

Yeah, I know. I know.

- What?

- Nothing.

I'll see you at work, okay?

Hey, there, Natasha.

How's my favorite minor doing today?

Hung over.

I got so shitty last night.

On a schooI night?

Kids today.

I must say, there's nothing more attractive

than tainted youth.

Yes. I am indeed a pervert.

- Does that offend you?

- Nope.

I think that most tainted youths

end up being perverts.

Good answer.

Oh, and Monty,

just so you know,

I'm only a minor

for another week.

I turn 18 on Wednesday.

Well, then I guess I better hurry up then.

I don't have much time.

- Hey, Dan.

- Hey, Monty.

- How you doing?

- Good. This is Mitch. It's his first day.

I want you to show him around.

Train him on everything while it's slow,

and when the dinner rush hits,

we'll have him watch the training videos.

Mitch, just listen to

what Monty says today,

and we'll have you out

on the floor by early next week.

- Sound good?

- Yeah.

All right then. Give him a quick tour

before your shift starts.

Good stuff.

Well, Mitch, first thing.

You ever worked in a restaurant before?

- Actually, yeah-

- Well, it doesn't really matter anyway.

Working in a restaurant's

all about learning a routine.

Everything that Dan wants me

to show you, teach you,

all that can be learned

in a few hours.

But...

if you wanna work here,

in this restaurant,

I really think that

you need to ask yourself

one simple question.

How do you feeI about

frontaI male nudity?

- What the heck-

- Pretty f***ed up, huh?

You see, the reason that I ask

is most of the guys that work here

like to play this little game that involves

flashing their genitalia to each other.

- Are you serious?

- Yes, I'm serious.

Now, the exact object

of the game

is to get the other participants to unknowingly

look at your testicles and/or penis.

And if they do, you ridicule them

mercilessly for being a fag

and get to kick them

in the ass.

- But that's-

- I know. I know.

It's demented, depraved,

senseless.

All true.

Now there are rules to the game-

different variations on how to show your dick

and/or balls which allow for more kicks.

But we're gonna get

into that later.

Right now, the first thing

that you have to do

is look deep inside yourself and figure out

if you can take an eyefuI of that.

So are you taking any interesting classes

this semester?

Well, yeah.

I'm only taking the two classes,

but I like 'em both.

I really like my teachers.

CooI guys.

Both have mustaches,

which is a little weird.

- Well, that's just terrific.

- Yeah.

- Guess who I ran into yesterday?

- Who's that?

Nancy Miller and her son Chet.

You remember Chet Miller, don't you?

Oh, yeah.

I remember Chet. Yeah.

- I haven't seen that guy since high schooI.

- Well, he was away at college.

Right.

Didn't you two have all the same

honors classes together?

Yeah, we sure did.

- Yeah, it sounds like he's doing really well.

- I'll bet.

Seems he just graduated with

a bachelor's degree in electricaI engineering.

Wow. His parents must

really be proud, huh?

Well, I'm gonna go.

Always love these get-togethers.

I think we really

broke through there.

Let me tell you something.

My trainer, that bastard,

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