Video Vixens

And he stated again this

afternoon that he fully

intends to run for reelection.

That wraps up the national news.

I'm Jim Walters.

KLITT's Gordon Gordon went

to the movies last night,

and here he is to

tell you all about it.

Gordon?

Thank you, Jim.

I'm a movie critic.

I get paid to go to the movies.

People envy me.

They think my job is

some sort of a picnic.

Well, it's not a

picnic, not one bit.

Last night I more than

earned every bit of the money

that KLITT pays me.

I was witness to a movie

so lewd, so filthy,

noxious, and obscene that--

[beeping]

Yeah?

Tell him to go screw it.

Tell him I said so.

GORDON (ON TV):
To performs

ordid, sexual acts

with people, and it's just

a downright abomination

and a crime against nature.

None of you will have to

see that sick, sordid--

Memo.

To chairman of the board

regarding Saturday night

ratings 8:
00 to 10:00 PM last.

I am proceeding to drop programs

as previously discussed.

GORDON (ON TV):

Smut, smut, smut.

We'll phase out shows

in four weeks and buying

films for prime time viewing.

Films so depraved,

so degrading,

so vile and perverted--

Have additional and regular

sponsors now willing to make.

[beeping]

GORDON (ON TV):
But they're

not only nonsensitive,

but indicative of

a social malaise

of frightening proportion.

Yeah.

That's correct.

GORDON (ON TV):
I call

upon the district attorney

to enforce the obscenity

laws that are--

Look.

I mean to set the

record straight.

Your contract's

not being renewed.

Your show's a loser.

It stinks.

You haven't turned in a decent

production over four years.

We both know that.

Yeah.

Well, just keep me informed

as to your procedures

in phasing out.

Just do it in style.

Right.

Have additional and regular

sponsors now willing

to make swing over to feature

films that I personally select.

Very truly yours, Clifford

Bradley, president, et cetera.

Angel, get this out right away.

Hey, Caroline.

Get this [inaudible]

fire, will you?

Easy on the fever

beaver, you toilet pole.

Oh, take it easy, Miss Thing.

Its seen worse days, I'm sure.

Hey, sweetheart.

Will you put a little

rouge on her nips

so we can shoot this thing?

What?

It's for you, honey.

Yeah?

Who is it?

Uh, Mr Bradley,

Or, like, Cliff?

Give me the phone.

Yeah?

ANGEL:
Mr Boorski on 4-2.

Shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is Boorski.

Who?

Now, come on.

Speak up, buddy.

I can't hear you.

Go on?

Well, listen.

I'm real glad to hear

you like a little nookie

now and then, buddy.

But I don't see what the hell

that's got to do with you

tying up my time on the phone.

Now, look.

I'm a busy man, so you

just cut out the bullshit

and tell me what you wanna say.

Yeah, that-- that

sounds terrific.

Yeah.

It-- hey, will you get

that light off her cunt

before it goes up in flames?

Now, listen, shithook,

you're interrupting

my train of thought.

Now, I'm a no shit,

serious son of a bitch,

and I'm right in the

middle of lighting me a--

Do you know who this

is you're talking to?

You're who?

You're kidding me.

Shit.

You ain't kidding me.

I mean, you aren't, sir.

Get your fucking

knee back up there.

Oh no, sir.

No, sir.

I sure didn't mean you.

No.

Yes, sir.

Captain, you got my

undivided attention.

What?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

I'll be there.

Oh.Yes, sir.

Yes, sir, of course.

We'll both be there.

Fine.

See you tomorrow.

Bye.

Won't that frost your behind.

Well, ladies and

gentleman, tonight I

have another sick

film to report on,

and I shall not

flinch from my duty.

I speak of the film "Two Balls,"

Rate this script:(5.00 / 1 vote)