Vice Versa Page #3

- You don't know Dale.

- He's a real a**hole.

- Charlie!

Language, in front of Sam.

Pasquale.

- Is he a real a**hole?

- Major.

A little Grey Poupon.

Thank you.

I can't take you to school, but I'll

do anything else you want. Deal?

Can we see Malice at the Riviera?

Is that an Agatha Christie movie?

It's a heavy-duty rock band.

I'll get us both a ticket.

- No way. You have tests.

- Music is my life, Dad!

- You had a deal.

- Oh, come on. He has tests this week.

You can't expect me to take him to one

of those drugged-out rock shows.

- Where'd he go?

- He's upset.

- What's he got to be upset about?

- Just lighten up, okay?

Charlie.

What are you doing?

- Mo has escaped.

- Who's Mo?

My frog.

Damn it.

- Pasquale, we have a problem.

- The linguine is not al dente?

My frog! My frog!

- It's a rat!

- It's not a rat! It's my frog!

- It's not the linguine.

- Mo, where are you?

Jesus Christ.

What is this, a rummage sale?

Charlie.

I can't believe you're

this messy at your mom's.

You stay with me a few days,

all hell breaks loose. Look at this.

Charlie!

In the future, eat in the kitchen!

There's granola all over the rug.

Make sure you take that damn frog

back to school.

If I do, they'll dissect him.

That's what a frog is for.

This isn't a wildlife refuge.

People are always trying to save

whales and baby seals and stuff.

- What's wrong with saving a frog?

- He's not staying here.

If we're not wanted here,

we can go stay with Eric.

Oh, really? I guess at Eric's house

there's a frog in every room.

Look, I just can't believe what you did

last night, that's all.

I can't ever go back to that restaurant

after your friend went table-hopping.

- Stop dumping on me, Dad!

- I'm not dumping on you.

I've been up since 6,

and I have a very tough day ahead.

I have a tough day ahead too.

You're going to school,

for God's sake.

School is games, fun and goofing off.

It's the best time of your life.

You mean it gets worse?

Wait till you have to work.

You'll find out how much worse.

- I told you to leave that alone.

- You don't take tests at work.

I bet people don't push you around,

calling you "shrimp" and "microbe."

You know, I wish I could

change places with you.

Yeah? Well, I wish I could too.

Dad!

Charlie! Charlie!

Dad?

Daddy!

Charlie!

Daddy!

You look just like me.

I think I am you...

...Dad.

And you're me.

Holy sh*t!

Dad?

Dad?

- What's happening, Dad?

- Son of a b*tch!

I'm scared.

Don't cry, Charlie. It's a dream.

We're having a dream.

The same dream?

We woke up a half an hour ago!

If we're dreaming,

you won't feel this.

There must be a perfectly

logical explanation for this.

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